Anthrax: Fistful of Metal/Armed and Dangerous/Spreading the Disease/State of Euphoria/Persistence of Time

Anthrax: Fistful of Metal

1984

Megaforce Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1.  Deathrider  2. Metal Thrashing Mad  3. I'm Eighteen  4. Panic  5. Subjugator  6. Soldiers of Metal  7. Death from Above  8. Anthrax  9. Across the River  10. Howling Furies



Yes!!! I love that cover sooooo much! I  don't know why but I looooove crude 80's metal album covers...Some people are moved to tears when they see the blazing  brushstrokes Mother Nature uses to paint an Arizona sky at sunset...

...Others feel a sense of peace and spiritual oneness while gazing deep into the easy, natural lines of Andrew Wyeth's breathtaking watercolors...

 Me? I feel most at ease while contemplating an especially sketchy Voivod cover...



 ...and "Fistful of Metal" has one of the best sketchy metal covers! My mind does gymnastics trying to work out the angle the fist is entering from...I'm still not 100% sure exactly what's being conveyed, but I think that's helped the cover maintain its mystique!

As a teenager this was far and away my least favorite Anthrax album..Sure, I whittled away many an hour mindlessly banging my head to it (which probably accounts for my current borderline brain-damaged state) but I couldn't deny this line-up was vastly inferior to the Joey Belladonna years...Neil Turbin sounded too Halford for my liking...And I liked Rob Halford! Neil's fantasy-based falsetto didn't quite mesh with the band's chugging, streetwise thrash, in my mind...When he sings the album's anthem "Metal Thashing Mad" it sounds like this...ahem..."RACING DOWN THE RO-AHHHHED! ON A STREET MACHINE OF STEEE-WOAH-HHH-AHHH!" All Advanced D&D wail...Not even the the semblance of subtlety...

But now, I kind of enjoy this album for exactly that reason...It captures that magically awkward, pimply-faced teenage metal-head  feeling so effortlessly. There's no way you can be cool while listening to this, but there's no way you can't feel cool listening to this, if that makes sense...And every once in awhile Turbin can land a hook, like on "Death from Above"'s chorus.  It just works... 

 
I can only recommend this those who were there when Thrash Metal was still raging in its full-glory...Those proud few, resplendent in their jean-jackets and ripped, acid-wash Levi's will probably shed a tear while hearing "Deathrider's" sweet shredding...All the whipper-snappers will go back to their extreme-cookie-monster metal proclaiming this "corny" but we all know the whipper-snappers have got it all wrong...right?

Right.

Here's "Death From Above" by An-diddley-thrax...MOSH, DAMN YOU!!

Armed and Dangerous

1985

Megaforce Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Armed and Dangerous  2.  Raise Hell  3. God Save the Queen  4. Metal Thrashing Mad (live)  5. Panic (live)


My vinyl copy of "Fistful of Metal" is a tad rough...The record itself is beautiful...Brand-new-looking, but unfortunately it looks like someone spilled a can of pop on the bottom third of the cover, so it's a little wrinkly and mildewed...Such is the hazard of buying used...

My copy of "Armed and Dangerous" on the other hand, both the record and the cover,  is immaculate...Let me tell you about this...I routinely go into Revolver Records in Tempe...I've badly picked over their backstock, so nowadays I walk straight to their "New Arrivals" section... Anyway, I went in this Sunday morning just as they were opening...The clerk was unlocking the door and he smiles at me and says, "Man, you've just hit the jackpot today..."

"Why? What's up?" I asked.

He opened the door wide and let me in, "Take a look at the New arrivals! Right before we closed last night, a guy came in with about 200 thrash and hardcore records from the 1980's...And you're getting first crack..."

Punk, 80's metal, and hardcore are my specialties, so I start digging through the pile and this stuff is unbelievable! They were in such perfect condition it looks like they were just opened for the first time and never played...Undeniably originals, since they all had the original inserts, old catalogs, etc, yet priced so resonably that I couldn't believe it! I walked up to the counter with a hefty armload of vinyl and basically handed over my wallet, as if at gunpoint...

Anyway, this is one of those acquisitions,  and I'll discuss more of them as the blog stretches out over the next few years... Looking back I probably could have made better choices from a monetary standpoint (there were countless old Metallica 12 inch singles..) but screw that...I don't collect records for any sort of financial reward...I do it out of sheer, unbridled love...And I'd rather have a relatively worthless Anthrax LP that I have fond memories of than a Metallica single I'd probably rarely listen to (although I kind of wish now that I'd picked up the "Jump in the Fire" single for that great cover...)



I like that demon guy! He's got a rockin' six-pack...

Anyway, "Armed and Dangerous" is the 1985 ep where the band's classic line-up solidifies...Neil Turbin and Danny Lilker are out and replaced with new vocalist Joey Belladonna and bassist Frank Bello. Joey's vocals are a huge improvement. I don't know if there's ever been another metal vocalist quite like him. His clean, non-aggressive hard-rock style isn't too far removed from, say, Steve Perry of Journey. This shouldn't work, but it does. It gives the band a relatable, everyman persona...This wasn't a band fronted by a fire-breathing demon from hell...This guy was just a regular joe! Yup, there goes Ol' Regular Joe Belladonna!

Compare the two "Fistful of Metal" re-do's from this album ("Metal Thrashing Mad" and "Panic")  to the Turbin takes...Joey's versions are much easier on the ears...The only time he really blows it is the horribly irritating Sex Pistols cover, "God Save the Queen."  Come to think of it, I don't know if I've ever heard a good cover of a Sex Pistols song (and that goes doubly for metal covers of Sex Pistols songs)...I think this might come down to the fact that Johnny Rotten seemed to be attempting to annoy people with his vocals, and if you imitate an irritation, you're bound to cross the line from "charmingly bratty" to "unbelievably irritating" somewhere in the process...Although to be fair, it was probably all the bad metal covers that got me into the Pistols in the first place...I can recall being vaguely wary of punk before I had heard it (not even understanding that I had already heard it) since  a lot of the music journalism at the time seemed to overstate punk's white noise/poor recording quality quotient. In my mind, if I bought a punk album it was going to sound like that almost inaudible live version of "Fanatics" off the Minutemen's "The Politics of Time" album...In other words, inaudible background noise...

But I eventually picked up some punk albums and found that (for the most part) they sounded like the hard rock/heavy metal albums I'd already been used to, just the basic approach and ideology was different...So, yea, I eventually realized the slick, hard rock/metal bands were the difficult ones to listen to and this breezy, catchy punk stuff was a blast!
 
 

Wait, a Minutemen cover? I must have gotten off track somehow... Let's reign this in: The "Armed and Dangerous" ep is probably not for casual listeners, since the best thing on here (the title track) is readily available on the "Spreading the Disease" album,  but it's historically significant for Anthrax fans and a pretty fun listen if you're in the mood for early thrash. I seem to remember this being a pretty popular release among metal fans back in the day, so that should count for something...

 Here's "Armed and Dangerous" by freakin' Anthrax...

Anthrax: Spreading the Disease

1985

Megaforce Records

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: 1. A.I.R. 2. Lone Justice  3. Madhouse  4. S.S.C./Stand or Fall  5. The Enemy  6. Aftershock 7.Armed and Dangerous  8. Medusa  9. Gung-Ho


If you would have asked me back in 1991 to rank the "Big Four of Thrash," this would have likely been the order I would have given you:

1. Megadeth
2  Metallica
3.Anthrax
4. Slayer

But now that I'm a mature man with a suit and tie and 9 illegitimate children, my ranking has changed almost completely:

1. Slayer
2.Anthrax
3.Megadeth
4.Metallica

Metallica kind of whined their way out of the top and  it would soon become apparent that Megadeth had undeniably peaked on "Rust in Peace." However, Slayer and Anthrax kept sounding better and better to me as time wore on and my tastes changed...

To be brutally honest, I think I still secretly resent Metallica for not participating in the "Clash of the Titans" tour...The good news is that "Bang Tango Is Back For More!" Call the RIP 900-line for details...Oh yea, and when I was talking about "music journalism" earlier, I was talking about RIP magazine...lol...



I dug this copy of "Spreading the Disease" out of my closet a year or so ago while I was looking through a box of old stuff and came across a pile of Cd's...In addition to "Spreading the Disease," I found  "Persistence of Time" and a few Overkill discs that I'll get to someday...

I originally received this tape as a gift during the Christmas of 1990, which I think I've covered before...I can recall the tape itself being particularly white...  

I mean, I've had white tapes before, but they were more of an off-white, cream color...This tape was neon white...And boy, did I play the shit outta this white-ass cassette...I remember carrying it with me at all times...I would wake up, get ready for school (which meant putting on my rattiest pants and jean-iest jacket) while blasting "A.I.R." Then it was time to hop in my parent's car, where I would instantly pop this in the tape deck and subject my mom to "Lone Justice" and "Madhouse."

Eventually, I would make it to school and take the tape out of the car stereo, put it back in the case and place it in the inside pocket of my jacket...I would proceed to stare longingly at the cover during class, oblivious to my surroundings..That's why to this day I'm still not really sure who discovered America...

And what's this long division shit I keep hearing about?  It's fucken brutal, but it's not metal!!!!!!!!

After re-listening to all my Anthrax albums in a row, I'm singling this one out as my personal favorite...I just hits the perfect balance between traditional power metal and 80's thrash for me... The leap in quality from "Fistful of Metal"/"Armed and Dangerous" is humongous...

The shining moment that everybody points to on this album is "Madhouse." I few years back, I was super surprised at how many people in my everyday life suddenly started to tell me how it was the best song ever...I started wondering, "Why do all these yuppies and teenage kids suddenly like 'Madhouse' so much?"  Then one day I was fired up the PS2 and got my answer...

...They used it in a "Guitar Hero" game, which was a huge phenomenon at the time...The new "classic rock radio" really...As a result, "Madhouse" was canonized as one of the all time great tracks of the thrash era. Although, I don't think the song needed to be used in a video game to earn that honor. It ruled anyway...

As much as I like "Madhouse," it comes in second to "Medusa" for me. I don't really understand it..."Medusa: is unquestionably the corniest moment on the album, but its unbridled dorkery makes it so transcendent for me...Not to mention, it's so catchy! That opening riff, man...That opening riff!  It's one of those songs that as soon as I heard it, everything in the universe quietly clicked and fell into place...A radiant moment, if you will...and it was about goddamn Medusa, of all people!

 You heard me, I consider Medusa to be a person!!! And I consider the song "Medusa" to be a metal classic! I posted a video of it below, but you won't be able to watch it, cos you looked at that picture of Medusa above and now you've turned to stone...

Anthrax: State of Euphoria

1988

Megaforce Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1.  Be All, End All  2. Out of Sight, Out of Mind  3. Make Me Laugh  4. Antisocial  5. Who Cares Wins  6. Now It's Dark  7. Schism  8. Misery Loves Company  9.  13 14. Finale


 This was another Revolver records acquisition. So mint, that it practically sparkles when I pull it out of the plastic sleeve...

(Oh yea, it just struck me that I have this big pile of Anthrax albums but I don't have what is often considered their peak, 1987's "Among the Living."



I haven't heard that album in decades, but I can tell you there was a time period where I listened to it non-stop as a young teenager...It's one of those albums I've heard so many times that I never need to hear it again, because I can just sit there and play every note in my head....Maybe I'll keep my eyes peeled for a copy and go over that one in a separate post...)

I can remember "State of Euphoria" was the last of the classic-era Anthrax albums that I picked up...For the longest time, I just couldn't get my hands on a copy!  I'd see that bright yellow cover in the metal magazines and it would just drive me nuts! I wanted it so bad...Eventually (early 1991) I finally snagged the album, and the sweet payoff of that endless quest probably colors my opinion of the album somewhat...

I always  hear people say this was the only misstep of the classic era; that it was some sort of sell-out...But I don't really hear it...I think a lot of the critics were blinded by the band's bright-ass shorts...

It sounds fine to me...Very similar to "Among the Living"'s tight, technical thrash, but with slightly stickier melodies...Maybe that's it...Maybe metal-heads have some aversion to pop melodies...Maybe that's "hair metal shit." Man, fuck off...

My only real criticism is the lyrics are maybe a little lazy...Not that they're badly written at all (their writing is very good, actually), it's just the endless rehashing of movie and book plots...They take the whole Misfits  "reading the synopsis off the back of the video cassette box" approach, but Stephen King and David Lynch aren't as lyrically compelling as Z-Grade monster movies...



Another thing that is often brought up as a negative, is the fact that the album's best song is a cover of Trust's "Antisocial." But I don't necessarily see it as minus...There's an art to picking out a cover song so perfectly suited to your sound that everyone just assumes you wrote it... And I'm telling you, Trust's street-level punk-metal was a brilliant choice. Anthrax uses the English lyrics from the 1980 English-language version of  "Repression"

But to find out what the band was really all about, check out a translation of the original French lyrics sometime...Way more raw and brutal...

Anyway, here's Trust's English version of "Antisocial" in case you haven't heard it...

...and here's the Anthrax take, for comparison....

Besides, there are a couple of other songs on here that I like just as much as "Antisocial,"  "Finale" is one of my favorite Anthrax songs...one of the catchiest tracks to come out of the 80's thrash scene...Super fun and ridiculously underrated...Same goes for the grand opener "Be All, End All," although I prefer J.J's version...

Here's the original, non-JJ version for reference...

In the end, I'll defend "State of Euphoria" and this temporarily bright & shiny Anthrax. I guess if I had to rank Anthrax albums from best to worst, this would probably go on the bottom, but not because it's bad, but because the other albums were so high-quality...The difference between this and "Among the Living" is minuscule in my eyes..

Here's "Finale" by Anthrax...Eat it...

Anthrax: Persistence of Time

1990

Megaforce, Island

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: 1. Time  2. Blood  3. Keep It in the Family  4. In My World  5. Gridlock  6. Intro to Reality  7. Belly of the Beast  8. Got the Time  9. H8 Red  10. One Man Stands  11. Discharge


"Persistence of Time" was a real lawn-mower album for me...I did various odd-jobs saving up the $8.99 so I could buy the cassette...

 ...and I can tell you, this album made all that time spent on lawn-care and baby-sitting worth it...I was at the peak of my heavy metal obsession back in '91 and this squarely hit the spot...

The band seems to have renewed its purpose after the perceived failure of "State of Euphoria" and get much darker and heavier than they had ever been...The lyrics mostly drop the TV/Stephen King lyrical concerns and focus on social consciousness, the only exception I can pinpoint is "Belly of the Beast," which rehashes the plot of an old Twilight Zone episode, but it was an especially pitch-black  Twilight Zone episode that takes place in a Dachau concentration camp, so it still works...

As I re-listen to this, it suddenly strikes me how damn long these songs are... Longer than Scott Ian's goatee...

 The first four in particular, hover around the 7-minute mark, but ultimately it's not a problem because it's all so well-constructed...Each song contains multiple, complex passages that flow seamlessly into one another, so it's not like they're endlessly vamping on a single riff or something...and in the end, there's not a truly weak moment...

If I had to pick my least favorite, I'd probably go for their cover of Joe Jackson's "Got the Time," if only because they play it so close to the original that it seems redundant other than highlighting the connection between metal and punk that everyone was already aware of in the first place...Although, come to think of it, I guess it does fit in nicely with the album's overarching concept, so screw it...The whole thing works...Don't change a thing...

Oh yea, I can  remember watching Headbanger's Ball around this time and they did an on-the-set piece about Anthrax's upcoming appearance on "Married...With Children."I couldn't have been more stoked! I have fond memories of watching the episode and thrilling at the band's performance of "In My World." Here's the appearance...

 I think "Persistence of Time" holds up as one of their best albums. If someone wanted to know what the band was about, I would point them to this and "Among the Living." The band matured without going soft... Here's "Time" for proof...Enjoy...

 

Anthrax went on to release plenty more albums after "Persistence of Time,"  I just don't happen to own any of them...After an entertaining "B-Sides" collection, the group hired new vocalist, John Bush of Armored Saint, and changed direction into more of a Alice In Chains/Pantera groove metal thing...I remember liking the first of these albums, "The Sound of White Noise"...

...but I jumped off board with the release of  "Stomp 442" which was so mind-numblingly boring that I just couldn't take it anymore...To be fair, I haven't listened to the album since 1995, but I suspect my opinion wouldn't change much...Groove Metal has aged very poorly for me...I strongly detest that tough-guy, MMA bullshit attitude that groove metal introduced to the genre...It went from being a thing for pimply fantasy geeks and drop-outs to a scene of meat-headed bullies...God bless the stoner rock and retro metal genres, which are really my only outlet for quality hard rock anymore, besides turning to the old classics from the 70's, 80's and early 90's...Metal is dead, long live metal...

Although, in retrospect, I might have just gotten tired of staring at the dude's ass on the cover...I have this same problem with "Going for the One" by Yes...

...and Rush's bare-buttocked breakthrough"Hemispheres"...

Okay, as much fun as I'm having naming every album that has a man-ass on the cover, I think it's about time to pull the plug on this entry...

...Yoink!

Angry Samoans: The Unboxed Set

Angry Samoans: The Unboxed Set

1995

Triple X Records

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing:  1. Right Side of My Mind  2. Gimme Sopor  3.Hot Cars  4. Inside My Brain  5. You Stupid Asshole  6. Get Off the Air  7. My Old Man's a Fatso  8. Carson Girls  9. I'm a Pig  10. Too Animalistic (live)  11. Right Side of My Mind (Live)  12. Gas Chamber  13. The Todd Killings  14. Lights Out  15. My Old Man's a Fatso  16. Time Has Come Today  17. They Saved Hitler's Cock  18.Homo-Sexual  19. Steak Knife  20. Haizman's Brain Is Calling  21. Tuna Taco  22. Coffin Case  23. You Stupid Jerk  24. Ballad of Jerry Curlan  25. Not of This Earth  26. Different World  27. Electrocution  28. It's Raining Today  29. Unhinged  30. Psych-Out 129  31. Somebody to Love  32. I Lost (My Mind)  33. Wild Hog Rhyde  34. Laughing at Me  35. STP Not LSD  36. Staring at the Sun  37. Death of Beewak  38. Egyptomania  39. Attack of the Mushroom People  40. Feet on the Ground  41. Garbage Pit  42. (I'll Drink to This) Love Song  43. Lost Highway



Holy hell, this is a good thing...Clocking in at 75 minutes and featuring the band's entire discography up this point...

I first heard of these guys via an advertisement in some Heavy Metal magazine. I think Triple X records was reissuing their albums on CD at the time and I was immediately fascinated by the various album covers (particularly "Back to Samoa") in the ad.  For the longest time I could never track down the albums, but eventually I got to hear the Samoans and somehow it was everything I expected it to be...Fast, antisocial, and Metal Mike sounded like a reedy, true-to-life asshole (I mean that in the best way possible)...

The band's sound changed a lot over the course of their first four releases, so it's probably easiest if I handle this album by album...ahem....Here goes...



Inside My Brain

1980

Wow, what an album cover! Is that for real? Ouch!

 Originally this was a nine-minute, six-song mini-album, but the version included here is the expanded 11-song version that was released in the 80's, filled out with a couple live tracks and three demos that hold their own against the band's best material.

This album kind of reminds me of a hardcore version of The Dictators for some odd reason...Maybe it's the politically-incorrect irreverence, the snotty, artless vocals or maybe just the title "Carson Girls"?  Actually, now that I think about it, I think the resemblance goes beyond the song title..."Carson Girls" really is a dead-ringer for the Dictators....Who knows...Bottom line it hits the same sweet spot for me....

You kind of get the feeling they didn't know what they had...With this much attitude and with such shocking imagery (cover and lyrics) the song's didn't really need to be this catchy...To be honest, a lot of time with hardcore albums, it takes me a few listens for the songs to sink in, but I could have sang this right back to you after the first listen...Although, it's more proto-hardcore now that I think of it...This doesn't really have the muscle-headed aggression that later became synonymous with the genre.

Defining moment: "Get Off the Air" where they mercilessly heap verbal abuse on  beloved KROQ DJ Rodney Bingenheimer...



Here's "Carson Girls" by the Angry Samoans...Enjoy...

Back From Samoa

1982

...and it turns out all that speedy, smart-ass punk on "Inside  My Brain" was just a warm-up for "Back From Samoa," which is hands-down, one of the fastest,  funniest, middle fingers to the world ever recorded...Easily the band's best record...

You can tell it's a whole different ballgame as soon as "Gas Chamber" kicks off...More frantic, pissed-off and claustrophobic as  Metal Mike desperately yelps, "I'm in my room all the time, I'm trapped inside this fucking mind!" Teen-angst so painfully realized and vivid it's hard to believe songs like this and "My Old Man's a Fatso" were coming from a guy pushing 30...

Defining moment: It's hard to choose between"Ballad of Jerry Curlan," which is a  thought-provoking character study of an upstanding, sensitive young man who also pukes though his nose while drinking toilet-water...and that's one of his milder habits...Boy, this is a song that would have people up in arms if they knew it existed...Balls-out performance and you can practically hear the singer's tonsils shredding during the rousing coda...Bravo...

...on the other hand, we have the enduring anthem "Lights Out"...

The call and response vocals, drop-out guitar and eye-gouging lyrics have undoubtedly stood the test of time and it's still as exciting as the day it was released (not that I heard it on the day it was released...I was probably watching Mr Rogers when this album dropped...But still, I can imagine...)

Anyway, Here's "Lights Out"...

Yesterday Started Tomorrow

1986

The band switched gears a bit on this  1986 ep...The album usually gets a bad rap, but I don't really know why...Maybe most fans of breakneck punk aren't fans of Nuggets-style garage rock? Hard to say...Since I'm a fan of both, this isn't a stretch for me...

The opening track "Different World" is catchy pop-punk, not quite as fast and furious as "Back From Samoa" but it would have sounded fine on "Inside My Brain." But suddenly "Electrocution" comes on and it's trippy, garage-psyche in the vein of the Electric Prunes...And add some electric jug to "It's Raining Today" and you have the 13th Floor Elevators. Hell yea, I'm all for it...The only thing that doesn't do it for me is their dull cover of Jefferson Airplane"s "Somebody to Love." They were more successful at capturing that elusive 60's spirit on the originals...

But yea, I like "Yesterday Started Tomorrow" and I enjoy it more and more each time I play it, so
nyahh!

Here's "Different World" starring Sinbad and Dwayne Wayne...

STP Not LSD

 1988

The "Unboxed Set" ends with the original Samoans swan song, "STP Not LSD,"  which is a pastoral collection of swan's swinging...or quacking...I don't know what noise a swan makes, really...

This album continues "Yesterday Started Tomorrow"'s sound, but expands upon it in odd ways...There's a hicky, almost cowpunk feel on some of the tracks ("Feet on the Ground," the title track and "Wild Hog Rhyde," (which is a better song than its title suggests)).

The real reason I love this album though, is the fact that there's a  song about "Matango" on here! That was one of my favorite movies as a kid! Once a year on Channel 5 they would have a horror movie week, where they would play random Hammer Horror films and "Matango." Except it wasn't called "Matango" then...It was called "Attack of the Mushroom People"...

I tried explaining it to people for years and everybody thought I was making it up or plain old lost my mind...But this was my proof of its existence in that pre-dvd era...

I greatly enjoy the "STP Not LSD" album, but I can see how it might not be for everyone, especially Angry Samoans fans who felt burned with "Yesterday Started Tomorrow," since this is probably even further removed from their early work than that ep was...60's psyche-rock fans who like it rough might want to check this out though...

Here's "Lost Highway" by the Angry Samoans....

They sure fit a ton of great shit on this single disc...I recommend "Unboxed Set" to any self-respecting punk enthusiast...Even if everything on here might not be your cup of tea, it's still a bottomless cup of coffee and the pysche stuff is worthwhile once you get over the shock...

I feel like going out swinging, though...Here's "Gas Chamber"...

Woody Allen: Volume 2

 Woody Allen: Volume 2

1965

Colpix Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. The Moose  2. The Kidnapping  3.Superman  4.Science Fiction Movie  5. Eggs Benedict  6. Footnote  7. What's New Pussycat? 8. Reminiscences  9.Swedish Movie 10. Taking A Shower (Pantomime) 11. Lost Generation 




I florkin' love Woody Allen...

 Well, I'm kind of like those  "Stardust Memories" aliens...I like his earlier, funnier movies..."Sleeper" being one of my all-time favorite films...

I can't help it, the shit's so funny...I can recall watching him for the first time somewhere in the second-half of the 80's...I think I touched on the summer my dad brought home a ginormous collection of Capacitance Electronic Discs home one day, shortly after the format had died out...I didn't care about obsolescence, though...All I cared about was the fact there were hundreds of new movies piled high in the living room and I was determined to blow the entire vacation watching 'em all...

And one of the most intriguing ones as a kid was this one...



 "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (but were afraid to ask)" by Woody Allen...I'm sure there was no way my parents intended for me to watch this, but sure enough, I waited for them to leave one day and popped this in...

And boy, was my mind blown when I got an eyeful of Gene Wilder getting it on with a sheep...

...and the the scene where Woody squares off against a giant boob...

...and to this day, I'm still extremely fascinated by the "Sperm Scene" where you get an inside look at all the hard work that goes into a getting a hard-on...

It was absolutely a pivotal moment in my life, where I suddenly realized the endless possibilities inherent in humor and film, especially when you were willing to push things a bit...

"Woody Allen Volume 2" captures Woody in the 60's when he was still a stand-up comedian...His routine is instantly recognizable to anyone who's seen his early, funny movies (and probably familiar even if you haven't).  His distinct nervous/nebbish persona was already in place and his monologues have a very filmic quality...More closely related to mini-movies for the mind than standard jokes, except for "Footnotes," which is just a one-liner, but it's brilliant: 

“I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception, I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'" 

 But that's  the exception...The album is mostly long-form stories, full of unexpected plot-twists and sharp details...Hell, "Science Fiction" is just a brief plot synopsis for an unmade alien invasion flick that I wish someone would have made...And fans of his movies will probably find the "What's New Pussycat?" track interesting, since he outlines his time making the film:

"Europe for me, as a matter of fact, was a series of near misses. I was at a cast party with our cast, and I was in the corner and I was playing the vibes, very sexy like a jazz musician...Up and down. And a great girl comes up behind me, really elaborate, and she says to me "You play vibes?" I say "Yeah, it helps me sublimate me sexual tensions." She says "Why don't you let me help you sublimate your sexual tensions." So I figured "Great", y'know, "here's a girl who plays vibes." I turned quickly and asked her out for a date, but Peter O'Toole, who's in the movie, asked her out first.  Aces me out, y'know - and she was a beautiful girl, so I said to her "Could you bring a sister for me?", and she did! Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow night, y'know. We discussed the New Testament, y'know. We agreed that He was extremely well adjusted, for an only child..."

Alright, I'm falling into the trap I've been trying to avoid the whole time I've been doing these comedy album posts...I'm just retelling the jokes, so I should probably pull the plug soon...You should hear these for yourself rather than reading them second-hand on a computer screen. The stories really did suck me in the whole time...The whole thing is fascinating, funny and fast-paced...That said, this album features one of the most useless moments ever etched into vinyl..."Taking A Shower (Pantomime)" is literally a silent pantomime! That you can't see! So it's just silence interspersed with periodic laughter from the audience. WTF?! Oh well, at least it's short...

Still, I highly recommend this if you run across it in the dollar bin, I know I'll keep my eyes peeled for "Volume One."  I honestly believe that Woody Allen would have become a comedy legend even if he had never picked up a movie camera...Here's "The Kidnapping" by Woody Allen...Enjoy... 

Alkaline Trio: My Shame is True

Alkaline Trio: My Shame is True

2013

Heart & Skull/Epitaph

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: 1. She Lied To The FBI  2. I Wanna Be A Warhol  3. I’m Only Here To Disappoint  4. Kiss You To Death  5. The Temptation of St. Anthony  6. I, Pessimist  7.  Only Love  8. The Torture Doctor  9. Midnight Blue  10. One Last Dance  11. Young Lovers  12. Until Death Do Us Part



 Ahh, 2013...The year of the drone...

 ...the year we got a new pope...

 ...and also the year we got a new Alkaline Trio album in the form of "My Shame is True." I like these guys and their constant use of macabre puns! They kind of remind me of Freddy Krueger, in that sense...

...and the album is pretty good too...At this point I'm sure you know what to expect...A bunch of dark, cynical pop-punkers by Skiba and a few anguished ravers by Andriano thrown in...Not quite the throwback that "This Addiction" was...This seems to further things a bit, with a more mature outlook. I think this is stronger overall than "This Addiction," but it doesn't have the highpoints that album had...Still, quite a few good 'uns...



Honestly, the first two songs ("She Lied to the FBI" and "I Wanna Be A Warhol") don't really bowl me over. "She Lied to the FBI" is slight fun, and I love the verses to "Warhol" but the chorus doesn't do much for me.  But that doesn't matter cos "I'm Only Here to Disappoint" comes along,  punches me in the gut and forces me to sing along...This is the reason I'm first in line whenever the band puts out a new album...

Y'know, I find myself with not a lot to say about this record...It's not their best and it's probably not their worst...If you're into the band's post "Good Mourning" material you'll probably like it..If you're stuck on the Asian Man years, this ain't gonna change your mind...I think I'm going to write a review about Alkaline Batteries instead...

Alkaline Battery

Expiration Date 2048

Size: AA

This is a pretty good battery. I keep it in my fridge right behind a package of hotdogs and next to the soymilk...

I can recall going to Quality Farm and Fleet in 1998 and buying this battery, with friendly assistance from Tina who had big, party hair....

I'll never forget going home and putting the battery into Billy the Loudmouth Bass. He and I had a long talk about where my life went wrong and how others would never love me until I learned to love myself...

"I'm hooked on prescription painkillers!"

I'm surprised this battery still works...I've had it for over 15 years now and it's like an old friend to me now...We eventually had a falling out over some money he loaned me, but hey! Why should I pay him back?!?! I don't even have that that hooker anymore!

Anyhoo, I highly recommend this battery cos it says, "Thunderbolt Magnum" on it and that's what I named my motorcycle.

Well, I don't have a motorcycle exactly, but I do have a shirt that has one on it...Sometimes when I wear this shirt, I close my eyes, hold my arms out and I can feel the cool wind in my face and it kinda feels like I've got a sweet Harley between my legs...I eat a couple bugs to complete the illusion...So yea, I've got a motorcycle, I guess...

Oh yea, the "My Shame is True" cover has a motorcycle on it! Look, I'm tying it all back together!



I should probably mention how much I like the big dumb chorus on the "Torture Doctor." I know people who say it's cheap and underwritten, but I'm sticking up for it, because it sounds great when you're all beered up and feel like pumping yer fist in the air..."Hey! Ho-o-o!" Hell yea! I'm not sure about that Rise Against singer on "I Pessimist" though...I think Matt would sound better...The guy sounds a little generic and emo-y for mt tastes...I've only listened to one Rise Against album and I literally felt nothing...



But then again I was watching some live video of them and they sounded pretty good...Am I listening to the wrong stuff?  And why do I always get Rise Against mixed up with Against Me?



And why do I always get Against Me mixed up with Born Against (who are easily the best "Against" band)?

I don't know...I didn't invite you here to ponder life's unknowable answers...I invited you here to listen to some Alk..Here's "I'm Only Here to Disappoint"...Enjoy...

Agnostic Front: Live at CBGB

Agnostic Front: Live at CBGB

1989

Relativity Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Victim in Pain  2. Public Assistance  3. United Blood  4. Friend or Foe  5. Strength  6. Blind Justice  7. Last Warning  8.Toxic Shock  9. United and Strong  10. Crucified  11. Liberty and Justice  12. Discriminate Me  13. Your Mistake  14. Anthem  15. With Time  16. Genesis  17. The Pain Song  18. Fascist Attitudes  19. The Eliminator




After listening to this again, I might have to declare it the ultimate New York Hardcore album...I don't know...Maybe I'm forgetting another obvious choice ("Age of Quarrel"? "Start Today"?) , but this album seems to have everything: Lion-hearted, muscle-headed aggression...Yellin' at bouncers...Recorded at CBGB, no less, and if I were a betting man, I'd wager it was done on a Sunday afternoon...(baby needs a new pair of combat boots...)

It also helps that the album was recorded directly after their third album, "Liberty and Justice for..." so it happens to catch them right at their peak...



The sound is great too...Every instrument is front and center and surprisingly Roger Miret's vocals are crystal clear, which is never the case with live Hardcore albums (and often-times with studio hardcore albums). Were there studio overdubs?

 Man, who cares with a set-list and performances like this..."Crucified"? "Victim in Pain"? "Liberty and Justice"? All present and slamming.  If you want your freakin' head torn clean off the hinges on a Friday Night toss this on...I'm not kidding you...I put this on the turntable a couple months ago and seriously had to get up and start shoving around imaginary skinheads in the comfort of my bedroom...

I almost stomped on my "My Little Pony" collection in the process...This stuff is that potent....

"BLEEYOOO BLEEEYOOO BLEEEYOOO BLEHHH!!!"

If you're into the hardcore shit, you're gonna flip for this (that is, if you haven't already committed it to memory)...I couldn't take this off the stereo when I first picked this up at Revolver Records about 8 months ago...So put on your sweatiest wife-beater and lace up those Cherry Reds...

...Cos here's "Liberty and Justice" by Agnostic Front. Merry Fridaymas, everybody....

AC/DC: High Voltage (Australian Version)

AC/DC: High Voltage (Australian Version)

1975

Albert Productions Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Baby, Please Don't Go  2. She's Got Balls  3. Little Lover  4 Stick Around  5. Soul Stripper  6. You Ain't Got a Hold on Me  7. Love Song  8. Show Business



Oh yea, shout out to my friend Joe who sent me a gorgeous vinyl copy of "Decoration Day" by the Drive By Truckers. One of the best albums ever, in my big-ass opinion! Thank you very much...I'm going to get a package together this weekend to send to you...





(by the way...I just found out about the "Alabama Ass Whuppin' reissue! Oh my God! Why didn't anyone tell me?!)

It's hard to believe it was exactly one year ago that I started the Friday Night Record Party blog...

January 1, 2013: I was on my lunch break and I decided to do a quick write up of how much I loved the American release of AC/DC's "High Voltage" and waxed nostalgic about a particular 80's family reunion where I locked myself in a car and listened to the album...And look at me now! I've topped this year's "Forbe's Grubbiest People of 2013" list!

I spent last year listening to  my record collection alphabetically (by artist) and made it as far as Elvis Costello's "This Year's Model." I had the idea a couple month's ago to make a few changes...First, I decided that through 2014 I'll speed things up a bit by doing more than one album a day...I was thinking of doing them in groups, similar to how I handled the comedy and Christmas records. so that way it won't take me 100 years to get through all my music...If the new format really sucks let me know and I'll go back, but I think it's gonna be a bit tighter and more fast-paced...

I also decided that I would restart the alphabetization...Throughout the year I had bought so many records by artists starting with the letters A, B & C...So I'm going to start again from A and cover my new acquisitions until I'm back to Elvis Costello again, at which point I'll start doing the "album groups" thing...By sheer chance, I'm starting the new year exactly where I started the previous year...with AC/DC's "High Voltage" only this time it's the original Australian version that I picked up a coupla weeks ago at Eastside Records (my favorite place of all time)...



Despite being called "High Voltage," the US edition only had a measly two songs in common with the original version ("She's Got Balls" and "Little Lover")...  In fact, the "74 Jailbreak Album" was closer to being "High Voltage" (since half of the Australian album is contained on that release)...



"Baby Please Don't Go" is a hell way to kick off a discography...High impact blues with some blazing guitar work...Tell me that "Deeee deedle dee dee deeeeeeee...." riff doesn't set the hairs on my wolfman arms on end...I can't wait for the trouble that's coming! My other favorite rocker here is "Stick Around" which has such a cool, classic AC/DC riff...I wonder why they never used this on the American releases? Man, everybody would have eaten this song up if they'd had the chance to hear it...

 And as much as I love those songs, to be brutally honest I usually bust this one for the small deviations from their normal sound...

Y'see,  after this album the AC/DC sound was set in stone;  Simple, straightforward minimalist drums, Malcom's solid riffing, Angus' hyper-kinetic leads and grunting, sweating vocals by either Bon or Brian...The songs are almost always the same 4/4 tempo, dealing with the same handful of subjects...Although it's a successful formula, it's still a formula...They establish this formula right away with the first track, but they're not as beholden to it as they would later become...As a result, we get  a couple of enjoyable oddballs like the honest-to-goodness power-ballad "Love Song."

"Love Song" starts out rather ominously (think "Razor's Edge," but suddenly the dark atmosphere gives way to clean guitar picking and Bon tenderly crooning the romantic lyrics, "When you smile,  I see stars in the sky. When you smile, I see sunrise..." Wha-? You keep waiting for a punchline that never comes, and as somehow who enjoys surprises, this song was a very welcome addition to my collection...

To my ears, "Show Business" is also a bit odd...It's very clearly in the hard blues style that AC/DC often utilize, but the campy, old-timey flourishes make it feel different for some reason...I couldn't really picture something like this on "Highway to Hell," for example...

(Y'know, after posting this picture of the "High Voltage" single cover, it suddenly struck me that the song "High Voltage" isn't on this album...Apparently it's from the follow-up Australian album "TNT." Huh...)

Even if you have the US "High Voltage" and "74 Jailbreak" albums, I'm still recommending this...It's cool to hear all these songs in their original context and the songs that never made it here are essential for any self-respecting AC/DC fan, so let's check out "Love Song"...Enjoy...

2013 Friday Night Record Party Blog Music Awards

Okay, I'm going to spend this last day of the new year jettisoning all my pent-up negativity...I'm going to dump it all into this one post, then maybe I can approach 2014 with a cleansed soul. (Exhales deeply) Alright, here goes...

The 2013  Friday Night Record Party Blog Music Awards:

Happy New Year's Eve everybody! I'm your host Jamin 80, and tonight we're rolling out the red carpet for the quasi-annual Friday Night Record Party Blog Music Awards (the FNRPBMA's or "Fernerpies" for short...) where I dole out my unwarranted opinions about music...

So without further ado, here's what I consider to be the finest musical moments of 2013...ahem...

THE BEST ALBUM OF 2013:



 Yes! You guessed it! "Pure Heroine" by Lordy! Hey! I finally have a reason to listen to that shitty, overly-auto-tuned luxury pop that I've always had to pretend I hated (when all along I've actually been jerking it to Miley Cyrus!) See, this is ironic! I swear, guys! Lordy is  actually ambivalent about luxury rap, yet she does it anyway so she can have hits! Ha Ha! Geneyouse! She fooled you! Y'see, Lordy is a real-deal misunderstood artiste...She has too much taste to actually like this shit...(Turns into real Jamin suddenly) Good. Then I don't have to like it either. (shuts off shitty Lorde album).

THE OTHER BESTEST ALBUM OF 2013:






Kanye West: Yeezus

Kenny West proves himself to be the true boundary-pushing genius of the new millennium on "Yeezus." Listen to this guys range! He boasts about himself on "I Am God," brags about himself on "Black Skinhead," exults himself on "Bound 2,"  gloats about himself on "Hold My Liquor," and  in his most daring moment yet, he toots his own horn on "On Sight."  True future-shock, metal-machine, dark-hop, retro-handjobbing hip/hap...Who knows what he'll brag about next (spoiler: himself)...

THE BESTY BEST BEST ALBUM OF 2013:



Miley Cyrus: Bangerz

Wee-ohh! Who would have suspected that underneath all that nudity lied the  beating heart of a true artist! Nobody expected "Bangerz" to be this good! Miley finally grows up! Look at all the new-found  maturity on display on "Love Money Party (featuring Nelly and Big Jeezey)," or the spectre of adulthood hanging over the angsty "#Getitright (featuring Macklemore and Chad Kroeger (of Nickelback (featuring Nelly and Juicy Jeezbot of the 2-Coat Mafia (featuring Pinki Boobybutt)))"  Sure, it sucks but isn't music supposed to suck sometimes? Can't we just have fun listening to sucky music cos we suck so much? Life's short! Why not suck?! To sum things up, twerk twerk twerk selfie cronut twerk 2013 twerk twerk...

THE BESTER-EST ALBUM OF 2013:





Arcade Fire: Reflektor

I like this album cos it has a wing-wong on the cover...

THE BETTER THAN BEST ALBUM OF 2013:



Sky Ferreira: Night Time, My Time

...and I like this one cos it has a boob on the cover...and it's not even a statue boob! It's a real one!

Readers Comments:

Showing (5 of 10,000,00,000,000,000,000,000,000):


Morty Hornswallow (2 hours ago):
 "I find it deeply disturbing that you included Miley Ray Cyrus' "Bangerz" but failed to include JT's '20/20 Experience' and Lady Gaga's "ARTPOP" which were clearly  the best albums this year...Lady Gaga is the new Lou Reed...Lou Reed was an artist and Lady Gaga's new album has the word 'ART' on the cover, so they're the same thing...I don't know why you're too close-minded to see that..."


Prissy Pantybunch (5 minutes from now):
"I don't know why your so close-minded that you have too put down all the new music that comes out...Your an old man who only likes the music that you listened too in High School back in the 90's! Have fun siting in you're room listening too the same old  Pearl Jam album for the one millionth time, you looser! I'll proudly listen to JT's geneous "The 20/20 Experience' (aka the 'Thriller' of the 2010's)."

Dillon Tightbritches (3 days ago):
  "What?! Where's 'The Bones of What You Believe' by Cha-vurches? I don't know why you're too close-minded to see that it's the 'Nevermind' of the 2010's..."


 Retcon Applecart (200 years ago):
"I'll never understand why people still insist that 'Nevermind' was a great album?! Nirvana has always sucked!  While everyone else was going on and on about their 'Nevermind' and Grunttruck CD's, I was busy listening to Slint and a Neutral Milk Hotel album that an alien from the future gave me...And BTW, you forgot JT's genious 'The 20/20 Experience'."


Backwoods Benny (3.6 seconds ago): 
"Yup. Thank Obummer and the liberals for Miley Cyrus. These days you can't even turn on the TV without seeing perverted sex,naked Miley Cyrus and Ellen pushing there sinful lifestyles on us!  When will the American people wake up and see that they put a muslim in the White House and when the PC Police begin rounding you up and putting you into their Obama-run detention-centers I'll be  polishing my BRO-PG9 Semi-automatic, and listening to JT's amazeballs 'The 20/20 Experience.'"



Alright, thank you all for your valuable feedback! Now I'm proud to present the greatest song of 2013...Even though it's less than a year old, it's already spoken of in the same awed, hushed tones as "Good Vibrations" or  Hendrix's radical reinvention of "The Star Spangled Banner." Ladies and Gentlemen...Here's "Blurred Lines" by TV's Alan Thicke (star of "Growing Pains.")...  #ALANTHICKE