Faith No More:Sol Invictus

Faith No More:Sol Invictus

2015

Reclamation/Ipecac Records

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: 1. Sol Invictus  2. Superhero  3. Sunny Side Up  4. Separation Anxiety  5. Cone of Shame  6. Rise of the Fall  7. Black Friday  8. Motherfucker  9. Matador  10. From the Dead

Oh yea, the band released one album between "King for a Day..." and "Sol Invictus" (1997's "Album of the Year") but I don't own a copy so I won't be covering it at this time. From what I remember it sounded like "King for a Day" with all the fun and energy sucked out of it (shhhhhluck!). I seem to remember enjoying a few songs off of it ("Stripsearch," "She Loves Me Not" and the utterly fantastic "Ashes to Ashes") but that was about it. It felt like a snoozy nod to all those shitty bands that had claimed their sound out from under them, doubling down on the cartoony heaviness but subtracting some of the cleverness.

The band broke up after "Album of the Year" and there seemed to be bad blood between the members. One of those situations where the band members would get prickly whenever asked about a reunion with lots of "it's not going to happen' answers. But then suddenly...it happened! Reunion shows and eventually a new album! And the new album is surprisingly decent!

I don't' know if the band intended it this way or not, but the album sounds very similar to "Album of the Year." But like a good version of that album. Like they took the most embarrassing artifact from their discography and redeemed it. I can't put my finger on it. Lots of shouty metal songs without a lot of mystery but there's a real spirit to it. And I know some fans were disappointed with it, but I love the first single "Motherfucker" and it's probably the best thing here. It walks that fine line that FNM walks so well: Veering between disturbing psychological drama and laugh out loud black comedy.

Mike Patton utilizes his higher register less than ever, relying more on his creepier lower voice, which was originally a hindrance to some songs that seem like they might have been better without it ("Sunny Side Up" would have benefited from a little lightness). Still it gives the album a certain consistent feel. I guess consistent is the keyword here. No wacky genre experiments (although, I for one have always loved the wacky genre experiments!) and just a commitment to flat-ass rocking and moody dirges. Is it their best album? Hell, no. I put it at the bottom of the FNM discography, just a rung above "Album of the Year." But there's a lot of play between "The Real Thing" and "Album of the Year." So even if I rank it 2nd to last in their discography, it's much closer to the fantastic "The Real Thing." if that makes sense.

Here's a chart to clarify:

1. Angel Dust
2. Introduce Yourself
3. King For a Day...Fool For a Lifetime (I've revised my opinion of this album after I listened to them all in a row. Previously, I would have ranked this album lower than "We Care A Lot" but "We Care A Lot" has a lot more filler than "King For a Day"despite having way less songs.  A highlight reel of both albums would leave "We Care A Lot" as a mini-album whereas a pruning of the overlong "King For a Day" would still be a full-length album.)
4. We Care a Lot
5.The Real Thing
6. Sol Invictus

(a
n
d

w
a
y

d
o
w
n
.
.
.

7. Album of the Year

Alright. Enough ranking shit. Let's listen to some music. Here's "Superhero" by Faith No More. Enjoy...

Faith No More: King for a Day...Fool for a Lifetime

Faith No More: King for a Day...Fool for a Lifetime

1995

Slash Records

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: 1. Get Out  2. Ricochet  3. Evidence  4. The Gentle Art of Making Enemies  5. Star A.D.  6. Cuckoo for Caca  7. Caralho Voador  8. Ugly in the Morning  9. Digging the Grave  10. Take This Bottle  11. King for a Day  12. What a Day  13. The Last to Know  14. Just a Man



Good album. I'm trying to pinpoint why I don't rate this as high as "Angel Dust." For one, the intriguing sense of mystery (to me, their biggest draw) is mostly missing.  Is it the absence of the square peg/round hole quality of Jim Martin's guitars? The radical downplaying of Roddy Bottum's keyboards? To me, that old sense of swirling mystery is only recognizable in the understated funk of "Evidence" or the title-track's off-kilter verses.

The album can sorta be broken down into two categories. Surprisingly straightforward hard & ugly alt-rock ("Get Out," "Ricochet," "The Gentle Art of Making Enemies," "Cuckoo for Caca," "Ugly in the Morning," "Digging the Grave," and "What a Day") and quasi-humorous genre experiments (the remainder of the album).  The brand of heavy alt-rock they pioneer here is really interesting and foreshadows a lot of the nu-metal that would come around a few years later and stink up the joint. It seemed really fresh at the time and still holds up, but I imagine the spectre of System of a Down or Incubus might be a hurdle to some. But FNM should absolutely NOT be held responsible for what less talented bands did to their sound years down the road.

 The straight rock stuff on here is freakin' fantastic for the most part. Particularly "Digging the Grave," which practically punched its way out of radio speakers when it first came out. There was something about a single getting airplay back then that didn't have an instrumental intro for some DJ to jabber over. One second, Collective Soul's "Gel" is lazily, mindlessly yarling and then POW! Mike Patton is doing his deep cartoonish crooning over some of the punchiest rock ever. The lack of warning was truly impactful for those who heard it in its original context.

The band also hits some real gold in the "genre experiment" category as well. For every "Star A.D." or "Caralho Voador" (read: Songs I don't give a fuck about) there's some truly fantastic stuff like the genuinely moving country weeper "Take This Bottle" which humanizes the cartoonish redneck in "RV" and "Just a Man" which is one of my all-time favorite FNM songs. Seriously. It starts as an impish small-scale song where Patton looks at the sky contemplating insignificance but by the time the song ends, it's a full-scale Vegas production. I'm moved in the most obvious, cheesy way possible. I get glitter in my eyes just thinking about it (the profound spoken word section is just the icing on the cake).

Almost every song on here (there are maybe 3 I don't care for) is great. But they just don't come together in any meaningful way like they did on "Angel Dust," where all the diverse elements congealed into an especially intriguing dark matter. As a result, the album comes across like oil and water. The straight-forward rockers not spilling their outright aggression into the genre experiments, which in turn don't spill their fun and inventiveness into the rockers. It feels like two separate EP's programmed into one CD with the track listings all shuffled...Still recommended though, since I'd say this is the last album where FNM were truly and fully in their prime...

Let's listen to some music...Here's "Just a Man." Enjoy....

Faith No More: Songs to Make Love To

 Faith No More: Songs to Make Love To

1993

Slash/Reprise Records

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: 1. Easy  2. Das Schutzenfest  3. Midnight Cowboy (Album Version)  4. Let's Lynch The Landlord


I'd call it the band's best album if it wasn't a 13-minute EP. Still, they pack those minutes with so much entertainment that it plays like a fully satisfying album. If you've ever listened to "Angel Dust" and wondered where all the fun went, look no further. 

Here's the breakdown: "Easy" is their now-famous Lionel Richie cover that shows that the band were surprisingly adept at smooth soul, although it isn't much of a surprise that Patton can pull this off. It's a style that suits him for sure. The band plays it very straight, only showing their hand on Mike's "UGH!" that sounds like he's about to be sick right before the guitar solo.  

The 2nd track is maybe my favorite. I fucking love "Das Schutzenfest," which the only original on the album. It's also a German biergarten oompa song full of gut-busting samples that never fail to make me laugh. (Fond memory: I had always wondered what they were saying so when my friend from Austria came to visit me in Tucson, I played him the song so he could translate it for me. Turns out he was just as perplexed as I was. I remember him wincing at the music and explaining, "Something about the nut is brown. We're going to the shooting fest? A lot of this doesn't make any sense."

Then comes the "Midnight Cowboy" theme, which is the exact same version that appears on "Angel Dust." No idea why it's also here, but it seems equally at home here. It kind of gives "Angel Dust" a retroactive sense of humor (not that I'm implying "Angel Dust" was all seriousness. I remember laughing at "RV," for example.)

The EP ends with a cover of the Dead Kennedys' "Let's Lynch The Landlord" done as a laid-back rockabilly tune. Against all odds, this arrangement works beautifully. I almost forget what the original sounds like when this is playing. 

All in all, this is a fantastic little release and comes highly recommended. You can usually find it cheap as balls and it packs a lot of entertainment in its short running time. 

Let's listen to "Das Schutzenfest" by Faith No More. Enjoy...

Faith No More: Angel Dust

Faith No More: Angel Dust

1992

Slash Records

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Da Track Listin': 1. Land of Sunshine  2. Caffeine  3. Midlife Crisis  4. RV  5. Smaller and Smaller  6.  Everything's Ruined  7. Malpractice  8. Kindergarten  9. Be Aggressive  10. A Smaller Victory  11. Crack Hitler  12. Jizzlobber  13. Midnight Cowboy



Lots of fond memories of this one too. I remember picking up the tape of this during the summer of '92. This was the summer I went to Driver's Ed and hung out with my friend Tony drawing comics all day, every day.  Tons of good memories here.

I also remember this as the point where my tastes started to diverge from other people. Prior to this, I listened to a lot of metal but my opinion seemed to match everyone else I knew. When I picked up "Angel Dust" I was floored by its diversity and brilliance. It was so dark, yet beautiful. Mysterious yet specific. A mystical fantasy world inhabited by the same crackheads and hillbillies that also populated the world I inhibited. Kindergarten was no longer the stone and mortar building down the road, it was now a mist-enshrouded ghost-world. A spectral swirl of vague memories.

Of course I loved it and recommended it to everyone I knew. Imagine my surprise when folks started telling me, "Man, that album really sucks."

Wha-whut? Most people I knew seemed to vastly prefer "The Real Thing" to "Angel Dust."  This stands out as the first time I became aware that people interested in the same genre could come to wildly different conclusions after hearing the same record. In retrospect, I think what I was viewing was a bit of a cultural shift. I eventually noticed those that hated "Angel Dust" were older than me and the ones who loved it were my age or younger. This was when the 90's Alternative Nation thing started to really take hold, so I think this was a reflection of this. Older rock fans were more into Jackyl or something...

But yea. All traces of hair metal are gone and the remaining funk bears little resemblance to the neon-hued late 80's-early 90's funk/metal scene. "Be Aggressive," "Midlife Crisis" and "Crack Hitler" are all funky as hell and are definitely steeped in metal, but none of them are funk/metal as it existed before. Most surprising are the extreme metal touches in "Caffeine" and "Jizzlobber" (one of my favorite Patton-era FNM tracks. A great claustrophobic epic, if those two words make any sense together) where Patton gets to stretch a bit and explore some of the harsher vocal techniques that were popping up in death metal at the time. In an earlier post, I referred to Patton as more of a vocal actor than a stereotypical "rock singer" and this album features many of his most memorable performances. From the whitetrash grunts and the velvet Elvis-isms of "RV" to the old witch voice he uses on "Smaller and Smaller."  This whole album is just a gorgeous, disturbing  widescreen film (possibly directed by David Lynch or somebody of that ilk).

And for no reason, the album ends on a cover of the "Midnight Cowboy" theme which somehow seems to be the only logical choice...It's such a bizarre move, but you can't imagine it ending any other way...That's how you know a band is in the zone. When every off the cuff move turns out to be the best possible choice.

To this day, I still don't think Faith No More ever came close to really topping this album (unless you count the EP that followed shortly after, which I'll get to soon). Every album they've done after this has been enjoyable but they were rarely capable of capturing the dark grandeur of "Angel Dust." Was it Jim Martin's departure shortly after this? I don't know. It might have been. In retrospect it seems he was so at odds with the rest of the band's look and sound. You can hear it in his guitar playing on this album. Jim seems to be using an 80's metal lead style, but since this was no longer 80's metal, the subsequent shapes these guitar figures took turned out really interesting ("A Small Victory" is probably the best example of this.) It's hard to say what happened. I don't think it's the failing of the subsequent material, per se, but the band just capturing a magic moment here...

Let's listen to some music. Here's "Jizzlobber " by Faith No More. Enjoy...

  

Faith No More: The Real Thing

Faith No More: The Real Thing

1989

Slash Records

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: 1. From Out of Nowhere  2. Epic  3. Falling to Pieces  4. Surprise! You're Dead!  5. Zombie Eaters  6. The Real Thing  7. Underwater Love  8. The Morning After  9. Woodpecker from Mars  10. War Pigs  11. Edge of the World



This was their big one. The platinum smash that launched them onto MTV and radio with the hugely successful rap-rock single "Epic." Thing is, I hated this album when it came out...

I was totally unfamiliar with the Chuck Mosley line-up so as far as I was aware this was a new band and my younger brother Pinhead fell head over heels in love with "Epic." He taped it off the radio and listened to it a gazillion times. I hated rap and I hated Mike Patton's nasally voice. Then I saw the video for "From Out of Nowhere" with hair-whipping Mike Patton in his spandex hair-metal shorts. At this time I despised hair metal (while listening to a bunch of band's that were, in retrospect, hair metal Note: I was in complete denial)  and decided I hated the band even more. They were rap and hair metal?!?! Count me out!!!

Then a couple of things happened throughout 1990. For one, I saw the "From Out of Nowhere" video and was intrigued by the bloody skeletons and clownsuits. Then when I saw the December 1990 FNM Saturday Night Live performance (you know the one where Patton climbs into the fan) I was sold. The band had finally won me over....

What was it about that performance that made me such a fan? The excitement? The unpredictability? The songs? The shaved sides? I dunno. I still disliked "Epic" but "From Out of Nowhere" suddenly sounded okay when I could overlook the whiny, nasal quality of the studio cut and focus on the bizarre, bullish live vocals.

Then the Christmas of 1990, my brother received a cassette copy of "The Real Thing."

It was on one of those blue cassette tapes that made everything sound better. Even Clapton's "Unplugged" seemed appealing when it was on one of those blue tapes...

(Distinct "The Real Thing" related memory 1: Sitting around class with an older kid who was explaining to me that the cover of the album was based on someone in the band jerking off and shooting a load at the ceiling. As it dripped down and hit the ground it glinted in the sunlight inspiring the cover painting. I was skeptical of this story because you would need a T-Shirt cannon level of pressure in order to make your splooge hit the ceiling. I don't care how low your ceilings are)

(Distinct "The Real Thing" related memory 2: Going sledding during winter break at school and then coming home, peeling off my soaking wet coat and boots and sitting in my room to listen to "The Real Thing.")

Anyway, the non-"Epic" material was very appealing to me. I'm a big fan of mysteriousness in rock and this had it in spades. The lyrics had a consistently dreamy logic and the music was hazy while still being rocking and funky. And the thrasher "Surprise! You're Dead!" and the Sabbath cover were nice olive branches to us metal kids. Honestly, I'm not sure I would have given this album the same chance if those tracks weren't present. But really, it was all about those misty, nightmarish epics like the title track and "The Morning After." I also love the light funk popper "Underwater Love." It feels so welcome and squishy in between some of the darker moments (even though I'm pretty sure it's about murder).

I don't pull out the album much nowadays but whenever I do, I'm flooded with an overwhelmingly fuzzy feeling of nostalgia. I'm back in my old wood-paneled bedroom, feet up on the big box speakers blasting "Zombie Eaters." However, if I remove myself from the nostalgia (although I don't do that very often cos the nostalgia is so warm and fuzzy) it's possibly my least favorite FNM album, with all the nasally vocals and the funk-rap and hair metal touches. But that's only when I remove the rose-tinted glasses. And I don't do that often. In fact, I'm thinking of getting Lasik surgery that will permanently rose-tint my eyes.

Let's listen to some Faith No More. Here's "The Real Thing." Enjoy!

Faith No More: Introduce Yourself

Faith No More: Introduce Yourself

1987

Slash Records

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: 1. Faster Disco  2. Anne's Song  3. Introduce Yourself  4. Chinese Arithmetic  5. Death March  6. We Care A Lot  7. R n' R  8. The Crab Song  9. Blood  10. Spirit


Oh, God. I love this record. I used to originally own it on cassette, which had a different cover that looked like this:

The tape was always gritty and crunchy cos I listened to it so much...

...in fact, this is probably in the running for one of my most listened to albums. Manoman, in the early 90's nary a day went by when this wasn't squeaking away in my walkman. I'm always surprised whenever I bust this out for old times sake and find that it retains all of the power that it did back when I first heard it. It seems like it should have aged poorly. Day Glo Funk Metal isn't fine wine, y'know. But this is still so off-kilter it works.

This is much more professionally produced than their debut.  For some indie bands making the jump to the majors can be a dangerous proposition (how did this happen by the way? I can see the Patton version getting signed, but it seems like the Chuck material isn't an obvious choice for the big time) but FNM sounds perfectly at home with their bigger, brighter, bolder colors.  And the issue with the dicey tracklisting of their debut has also been rectified. Pretty much every single song here is a knockout, full of catchy hooks, intriguing atmospheres and inventive instrumentation (80's metal guitar virtually free of any wankery! Novel!). I have a hard time picking a weak spot. I guess maybe the title track is my least favorite song on here. I basically think of it as a short band introduction and even that's fun in it's own way. It's probably the only reason I know the band members' names.

 Come to think of it, "Spirit" took awhile to grow on me. It sounds like some sort of hard rock alma mater, with Chuck warbling about the "tools you'll need further down the road." I think it initially freaked me out because it reminded me of "Greed" (a song I pretty much despise) but it rocks out so sparsely and furiously. Actually, the whole album rocks more and louder than "We Care A Lot." They really brought the guitar to these sessions (the keyboard, while still important to the mood, doesn't seem to carry the songs quite as much this time around).

I love the band's sense of humor during this era. It was so goofy and genial. There was definitely a prevalent sense of humor during the Patton era but it seemed darker and more ass-holish, if that makes sense. This is just good California-dude fun. See "Anne's Song," the title track, the re-recording of "We Care A Lot" and the spoken intro to "Death March" for prime examples. BTW, I love that doomy riff that makes up "Death March."

 My other favorites here are the seismic opener "Faster Disco" that is just hemorrhaging bucketsful of fantastic melodies. Also be sure not to miss "The Crab Song," which is maybe my 2nd favorite FNM song (after "As The Worm Turns"),  which is Chuck Mosley's masterpiece where his performance runs the gamut from genuine heartbreak, petty blustery anger, to cartoonish humor (the 10-foot jack section). I can see how this song would especially grate on you if you're not into Chuck's off-key vocal stylings but I love the shit out of it.

Every song here is great. My favorite FNM album (tied with "Angel Dust" and the EP with the rhinos fucking on the cover, but we'll get to those later) and probably the best 80's funk-metal album.  Let's listen to some music. Here's "Faster Disco" by Faith No More...Enjoy...

Faith No More: We Care A Lot

Faith No More: We Care A Lot

1985

Mordam Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1.  We Care A Lot  2. The Jungle  3. Mark Bowen  4. Jim  5. Why Do You Bother  6. Greed  7. Pills for Breakfast  8. As the Worm Turns  9. Arabian Disco  10. New Beginnings


I usually reboot the blog at the start of every new year, starting over at A and working my way back to where I was but my records are all out of order from my recent move. So I'm estimating what band would have been next after The Faint and all I can come up with is Faith No More, so I dug out those records and will go forward from here. Once my stuff is all back in order I'll start over with the A-F's that I purchased during 2016 (of which there were a lot! It seems like I only bought albums that started with A-D last year).

My friend JJ used to have this album on cassette back in the day but I couldn't find it anywhere! I ultimately just dubbed off a cassette copy and listed to that for years and years until the tape was eventually devoured by a hungry walkman or something...

The scarcity of the album gave it a sort of legendary status. I remember encountering FNM fans who were totally unaware (and skeptical) of its existence. I've personally encountered FNM fans who had always wondered where "As the Worm Turns" originated, which gave me the opportunity to act all scholarly, enlightening them to the existence of "We Care A Lot" and the original, superior version "As the Worm Turns" (it is superior! The Mike Patton version is waaayyy too sped up (and that's coming from someone who generally prefers things sped up) which causes the song to lose its creeping drama and cathartic sense of release...and don't get me started on those whickity whack record scratches).

I'm going to be upfront. I know I'm in the super-minority with this opinion, but I prefer Chuck Mosley to Mike Patton. Possibly because I tend to value originality over skill. Chuck was a truly unique character in 80's rock and to this day I can't really compare him to anybody, with his deep, resonant voice that veered between half-spoken rap and off-key crooning. He sounded kinda loopy, kinda dopey and completely original. I feel it more directly because I get the feeling this guy is a real-deal weirdo goofball. Contrast this with Mike Patton who is an exceptionally skilled singer who often feels like an actor, trying on different characters and voices as suits the song. I totally understand why someone would prefer Mike Patton, but I just don't (with the exception of  "Angel Dust," which is probably the only FNM album I rank up there with "Introduce Yourself" and "We Care A Lot").  My guess is that people that lean towards punk, where flaws are amplified and celebrated, would probably prefer the unpolished qualities of Chuck whereas folks who were raised on the radio (but have a slightly alternative bent) would probably prefer the polished Mike material (I'm also one of those rare people that prefers Paul Di'anno to Bruce Dickinson for these same reasons, so it could also probably be argued that I simply have no taste).
 
I love Roddy Bottum's keyboard work on these early FNM albums. You really get a sense of what he brought to the band on these stripped down records. A slightly ominous, hazy tunefulness. Whenever you try to pinpoint what's so amazing about any of these tracks, it usually comes down to the keyboard line swirling slightly above it all. It's part of what makes them so unique. It's just an easily identifiable tone and it's difficult to imagine any of these songs working very well without it.

The album kicks off with an earlier, lesser known version of their hit "We Care A Lot" which is slightly slower, stickier and has some great alternate lyrics that swap out the latter versions Madonna and Mr T references for Garbage Pail Kids and Transformers, which is a pretty fair trade if you ask me...

The real highlights of this album though are the excellent post-punk/funk song "The Jungle" where an echo-y vocal effect makes the hook (such a good production call). Chuck changes up the vocal melody every couple of measures which results an abundance of hooks once you're accustomed to the ever-changing flow. The other highlight (and it's a big one) is "As the Worm Turns" which is easily my favorite FNM song. Hands down. Nothing else comes close. It starts with one of those Roddy Bottum keyboard lines I was praising earlier where you have no idea what shape the song is going to take, then the heavy bass and drums kick in and the result is truly surprising and thrilling. Jim spools off a great little lead right before the vocals come in. And man, those vocals! Chuck's best vocal performance as he shouts his head off. Every instinct is dead on. Every strained scream, every monotone deadpan, every childish taunt conveys the deadbeat lifestyle outlined in the song's lyrics. It all works so well and is humming along so flawlessly that when it unceremoniously ends shortly after the 3 minute mark, it's a genuine shock. They could have easily kept this high going for another minute or three.

The rest of the album is pretty cool too, with minor classics like "Mark Bowen" and the fun instrumental "Jim." There are very few tracks I don't care for. I've always been kinda irritated by "Greed," which is the only song where I can sorta understand some of the complaints of the Chuck Mosley detractors. I've never been able to fully wrap my mind around "New Beginnings" either. The song has just always struck me as a bit shapeless. Maybe it'll sink in someday.

I know they're recently reissued this album and now is as good a time as any to get reacquainted with this album. I haven't heard the reissue, so I can't speak for the quality but the old vinyl sounds fine to me. Good and unpolished just like I like it.

Let's listen to some music instead of talking about it. Here's "As the Worm Turns" by Faith No More. Enjoy...

The Faint: Fasciinatiion

The Faint: Fasciinatiion

2008

blank.wav Records

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: 1. Get Seduced  2. The Geeks Were Right  3. Machine in the Ghost  4. Fulcrum and Lever  5. Psycho  6. Mirror Error  7. I Treat You Wrong  8. Forever Growing Centipedes  9. Fish in a Womb  10. A Battle Hymn for Children

Again, sorry for the lack of posts since December. We're in the middle of a hellish move and my albums are scattered all over oblivion. Not to mention, a component of my stereo setup is MIA and I haven't been able to track it down yet, so I've been vinyl-free since Saturday. I'm jonsin', man! JONSIN'! Listening to a smattering of music here and there on the computer (when no one else is using it) through the world's tinniest speakers, enduring unending youtube ads. (I talk to these folks who don't own any physical media and I'm just too old to get it. I can't take ads anymore! I'm in the middle of rocking out to some Ramones on Spotify and an ad pops up every 3 songs! AGGGHHH! And how do you download stuff without a virus making your computer grind to a halt until it eventually dies a slow, painful death. AGGGGHHH! Or having to download your music library every time your computer dies. AGGGHHHHH! Or having an mp3 player that sounds like a swishy piece of tin and a 2 hour battery life. AGGGGHHHHH! Or a phone with the same problems but also sets off an alarm that interrupts the song every time somebody posts a picture of their baby online. AGGGHHHH! (end parenthesized old man rant)).

It's all starting to come together though...The moving process should be done by the end of next weekend. Then I'll be settled in for the long haul (oh, I'm never moving again. Each time I have to do it, I hate it a little more).

But I didn't invite you guys over to bitch about hauling 500-lb crates of records down three flights of stairs (suddenly gets the appeal of digital music), I invited you guys to talk about The Faint's "Faciinatiion"...

Oh, whew...What a relief. The Faint are good again...

I had a pretty dim view of "Wet From Birth," but this album brought me back into the fold. It's great. It retains much of the harsh brightness of "Wet From Birth" but loses the needless clutter and general dopiness and just focuses on making straight-forward new wave rock. Actually, there's still a bit of dopiness but when used sparingly, it ends up being sorta endearing. One example is "Fulcrum and Lever," where Todd Fink dramatically recreates a childhood injury, but he gives a genuinely tension-filled performance that actually gets you interested in the outcome of the story. Love it.

And "The Geeks Were Right" possibly dethrones "Agenda Suicide" as the ultimate Faint track. Just a solid, supremely catchy vocal melody over a constantly evolving synth-rock backing that keeps you engaged and dancing for the song's 3 minute duration. Now that's how you write a brilliant blank wave single (Actually, now that I think about it, it sounds very similar to "Agenda Suicide." Like if the shadowy city where "Agenda Suicide" takes place is suddenly flooded with bright light). Oh, another part of the album that I love is the tinkly keyboard solo in "Machine in the Ghost" where it suddenly sounds like "Revenge of the Nerds."

If you squint your ears a bit, you can almost imagine "Psycho" or "I Treat You Wrong" on the radio, provided radio wasn't a vast "Don't Stop Believing'-ravaged wasteland. For all the trash I talked about "Wet From Birth," I have to hand it to these guys. This is a totally worthwhile album and very nearly a return to form. I know the band has put out one more album since this (2014's "Doom Abuse") but I haven't gotten around to listening to it yet. Maybe I'll check it out one day and let you know what I think...

Hey. Let's listen to some music. Here's "The Geeks Were Right" by The MF-ing Faint. Enjoy it!

The Faint: Wet From Birth

The Faint: Wet From Birth

2004

Saddle Creek Records

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: 1. Desperate Guys  2. How Could I Forget?  3. I Disappear  4. Southern Belles in London Sing  5. Erection  6. Paranoiattack  7. Dropkick the Punks  8. Phone Call  9. Symptom Finger  10. Birth


The super disappointing follow up to "Danse Macabre." Damn. What happened?

I remember winning a Best Buy gift card at work, so I went and picked up some new listens. I remember snagging this and the latest album by The Fall (which at the time was "Country on the Click." Now that's a fucking killer album!) and maybe some others. I loved the deliciously dark and hook filled "Danse Macabre" and was hungry for some shadowy synth-pop action. I remember putting this on and making it about one minute into the bright and dopey opener "Desperate Guys" and wondering what I ever heard in this band. Todd Fink no longer sounded like Simon Le Bon's evil twin. He was suddenly remarkably irritating (not to mention even he sounded bored with his own shtick). "Bleh," I say! "BLEH!"

For the most part the album just has an underwhelming, routine feel to it. I don't hate "How Could I Forget?" or "Paranoiattack" but I also don't especially care about them either. Only a few songs are truly awful, like the endless, stone-dumb slog "Erection" or "Birth" which is so deeply dopey it needs to be heard to be believed:

"In the beginning there was semen,
In a deep mound of flesh,
And a crest that traveled,
On a wave of their own mess...

My brains wouldn't fit,
Through her organ of sex,
An incision was made,
With a scalpel and mess..."

It's so gross and boring that it makes me want to puke.

 But in the midst of all this nothingness, the band does deliver one of their all-time best songs with "Southern Belles in London Sing," where suddenly  the prospect of a bright, gleaming Faint shows a world of promise. A new romantic synth-pop confection that reminds me of some overly swooning 80's European pop single. Like something Ultravox might have pulled off. Really lush, mature and well composed, which makes the transition to "Erection" immediately after all the more painful (as my face digs deeply into my palm).

There are a few other promising tracks here, like "I Disappear" where the band's slight shift towards straightforward rock works well. And "Dropkick the Punks" has some decent energy that I wish they would have explored a bit more. Oh, well...They can't all be masterpieces. Download "Southern Belles in London Sing," "I Disappear" and "Dropkick the Punks" move onto their next album and don't look back...

Here's "Southern Belles in London Sing" by The Faint...Enjoy...

The Faint: Danse Macabre

 The Faint: Danse Macabre

2001

Saddle Creek Records

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: 1. Agenda Suicide  2. Glass Danse  3. Total Job  4. Let the Poison Spill from Your Throat  5. Your Retro Career Melted  6. Posed to Death  7. The Conductor  8. Violent  9. Ballad of a Paralysed Citizen


Sorry I haven't been posting much lately. Between hanging out at hospitals and getting ready for a big move, the blog just wasn't happening in December and I doubt I'll be back in the swing of it until late January. But I'm hoping to fully re-immerse myself in cold beer, loud records and white-knuckled blogging in 2017. After all, the Friday Night Record Party is now entering its fifth year, so my goal is to make this the best year yet. And to kick off this year of awesomeness, I'm going to quickly half-ass a post on some largely forgotten early 2000's dance-rock album in-between loads of laundry...

(P.S.This is a photo of laundry I stole from another website. My actually dirty laundry is much bloodier and full of holes.)

(alternate cover featuring a still from Ric Ocasek's acclaimed performance of Swan Lake)

My good friend Russ got me into this band. It was always pumping out of his car stereo back in 2001-2002, and I dug it instantly. It sounded like a darker Duran Duran. Like if "The Chauffeur" was Duran Duran's starting point rather than an outlier. I think they used to be an emo band or something (I still haven't heard their first album) but switched to this dancier direction on their 1999 album, "Blank Wave Arcade" (which I don't own but have heard and enjoy very much).

This album has a fantastic opening track, "Agenda Suicide" that is a masterpiece of synthpop menace. Despite parts of it sounding exactly like Genesis' "Dancing With the Moonlit Knight," the song brings to mind a hooligan version of Duran Duran roaming the streets after midnight, glowering through your suburban window. I remember this song just blowing the doors off of other similar dance-rock shit that was glutting the new release shelf during the 2000's. Nothing came close. The pinnacle of 2000's dance rock, hands down.

Perfect opening tracks are a double-edged sword however. Sure I was drawn in immediately and pledged my undying allegiance to this band within five seconds of hearing the album, but there's also nothing that quite lives up to this song on the album, although the entire album comes pretty damn close. There are no bum tracks here and some of them come very close to re-capturing "Agenda Suicide"'s glory...

Other highlights include "Posed to Death" and "The Conductor." I effing love "The Conductor." Now, this is going to be hard to imagine, but picture Marilyn Manson delivering a truly great song. A pitch black metallic stomp that alternates between robot verses and a humanistic (and mightily) anthemic chorus. They definitely tap into something awesomely malevolent on this track. Always gets me pumped. 
 
Really, the whole damn thing rules and makes me want to dance (in as cool and detached a manner as possible). If you're into the seedier side of 80's new wave (Gary Newman, Soft Cell, the aforementioned darker side of Duran Duran) you'll go nuts over this. They really do distill everything that was great about all that old stuff and turn it into something new(ish)...

Let's listen to some much...Here's "Agenda Suicide" by The Faint. Enjoy...