Dayglo Abortions: Little Man in the Canoe

Dayglo Abortions: Little Man in the Canoe

1995

Unrest Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Homophobic Sexist Cokeheads  2. Casting Couch  3. Big Michel  4. Man Bites Dog  5. Little Man in the Canoe  6. You Are So Boring  7. Cash Bash  8. Skatan's Skids  9. Nikki Dial  10. Open Sore  11. Brick Shithouse Bouncers  12. Feeder Brigade  13. Spuds Visitation  14. Nuclear Supremacy


Manoman, do the Dayglo Abortions know how to suck me in with an album cover or what? I consider the "Feed Us a Fetus" cover to be one of my all-time favorites, but this one might possibly dethrone it...True, the album covers that followed "Little Man in the Canoe" all suck, but this? So brilliant, so lewd, so epic... I couldn't not buy it, even though I sorta initially doubted the quality of the music contained within...

Y'see, this record is their first without The Cretin on vocals, which seems like a big strike against it...Cretin's boneheaded, sing-song leering was a huge part of the band's repellant appeal...They replace him with some guy named Gymbo Jak and surprise surprise...It works just fine...Gymbo sounds like a scumbag crack-head (as opposed to looking like one...Have you seen the Cretin lately?! Damn!!!) with his sandblasted shout, which turns out to be the correct approach and the band still sounds good, pumping out the crusty punk/metal tight as ever...Possibly even tighter...

Bust out the Lava, cos this album's gonna make you wanna wash your hands after listening to it...

I can't believe the virgin-white vinyl this thing comes on isn't covered with greazy fingerprints...Just scuzzy, slimy shit as you could probably put together by a quick glance at the song titles...."Homophobic Sexist Cokeheads"? Yikes! I mean check out these lyrics:

"Lisa, she’s an actress
She’s got the look and great big tits
She knows one day she’ll be a star
Cause her tits are gonna take her far...

Hike your ass up in the air
Shake and moan as if you care
Let that cum roll down your chin
Now wipe it off and begin again..."

-Casting Couch

 Just by reading those above lyrics I have to imagine you'd either: a.)  want nothing at all to do with this ever or b.) you have to find out what all this is about immediately...I think this is a solid as hell record...Heavy, heavy punk with some occasional flashes of trashy metal...Hell, cut out the overlong sklortchy keyboard intro and "Nuclear Supremacy" is a goddamn great metal track...The kind of chugging beast that was hard to come by in 1995 (and listening to the vomiting session that closes out the track via the intimate soundscape my headphones provide is an auditory experience like no other)...For the most part, the album falls more into the "punk" category however...

 The production is very clear and full too...Some of their previous stuff sounds a little thin in comparison, but this sounds like they really gave it their all this go-around...Possibly to prove they could still do it without the Cretin? Who knows...I'm still kinda bummed that I didn't buy this back in '95 when I was at the exact bone-headed age where something this disgusting and ass-kicking might have changed my life...Oh, well...All I can do is crank the shit now...Kill a few braincells...Toss Mr. Floppy around while I watch a couple Nikki Dial videotapes...Sounds like a good night...

Let's listen to "Skatan's Skids" by Dayglo Abortions and wonder what "Skatan" means...Enjoy...

Dayglo Abortions: Out of the Womb

Oh yea, offensive album cover alert...If yer kids are in the room or if your boss is hanging over your shoulder you might want to scroll real fast until you see the orange square safely pass you by...Until then, here's a picture of nice, innocent things...

Fluffy kitten....

Pokey Lil' Puppies...

Unsullied Girl Picking Flowers...

Nana's Homemade Cookies, Fresh Outta the Country Oven...

A Fresh Bar of Soap Without a Single Pube On It...


...Alright, get ready to scroll really fast...There's an orange album cover with a shirtless punk girl on it...Make sure all prudes have left the room and/or aren't paying attention, cos here we go, in 1...


2...

3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Dayglo Abortions: Out of the Womb

1981

Unrest Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. R.B.F.'s  2. 1967  3. Scared of People  4. Black Sabbath  5. Used to Be in Love  6. I Killed Mommy  7. P.E.T.  8. I Want to Be East Indian  9. Kill the Hosers  10. Suicide  11. Too Stoned to Care  12. The Idiot  13. I Am My Own God  14. Germ Attack


If you've heard  side 2 of "Feed Us a Fetus" then you've essentially heard this album (minus 3 songs (2 depending on which version of the album you have))...I remember when I did the "Feed Us a Fetus" post, I wasn't 100% sure if these were the same versions or re-recordings...I can now tell you these are the same takes, or takes so similar that it would take someone with better ears than me to tell them apart...

 To be honest, the Dayglo Abortions are probably best enjoyed if you're a developmentally-challenged, glue-sniffing, 15-year old boy;  All raging hormones, dangerously low IQ, goldfish-like attention span, having no goal in life other than to piss off and offend each and every person on the planet...As a grown-ass man, I'm not entirely sure why I still enjoy them so much...I actually sorta consider them geniuses for their laser-like precision in offending officious tight-asses...Remember, this is a band whose juvenile sense of humor was so misanthropic they were brought on trial in their home country! Fucken A! I can only dread the day when I no longer experience the rush of adrenalin that a finely-crafted hardcore album can bring. And God help me when I no longer laugh at lines like, "We can't dance,  can't keep our hands out of our pants,  this fucking record won't make no money, cause it's so fucking stupid it's not even funny..."

Alright, here's the rundown of the songs that aren't on "Feed Us.." to help you decide if you want to pick this up in addition to "Feed Us..":

"P.E.T.": I think the only people who would enjoy this are folks who enjoy the sound of their own alarm clock going off...Just a series of beeps with a few drum crashes tossed in...I can't consider this a real song...For all the trouble they go through trying to irritate me with their music, they only time they succeed is when they don't play a note..

"I Want to Be an East Indian": Brilliantly offensive! One of my favorites on the album and there's a good reason why this song is added to some versions of "Feed Us..." You'll hate yourself for laughing at the lyrics:

"You always put me down,
 cause I only look good in orange orange orange..."

"Too Stoned to Care": A sludge-metal trudge..."Black Sabbath's" retarded little brother...Cretin just mutters "Too...Stoned...To Care..." over a repetitive riff...Kinda awesome, but nothing essential...

So, if you already own "Feed Us..." don't bother with this, unless you're fond of orange album covers with hideously scarred chicks on them...Especially if you have a copy of "Feed Us..." with "I Want to be an East Indian" on it...That said, the Unrest Records reissue I have is really nice, with a glossy poster and classy presentation...And it is fun to hear these songs in their original context and not all crammed onto Side Two of some other album, so...

Here's "I Want to Be East Indian"

Dayglo Abortions: Feed Us a Fetus

Dayglo Abortions: Feed Us a Fetus

1986

Unrest/God Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Stupid Songs  2. Argh Fuck Kill - Die Sinner Die  3.Bedtime Story  4. My Girl  5. Dogfarts  6. Inside My Head  7. Wake Up America  8. Proud to Be a Canadian  9. Stupid World  10. Ronald McRaygun  11. Kill the Hosers  12. Religious Bumfucks  13. 1967  14. I Killed Mommy  15. I'm My Own God  16. Used to Be in Love  17. Suicide  18. The Idiot  19. Germ Attack 20. Scared Of People - Black Sabbath


I can clearly remember my first encounter with this album...It was back in the 90's and I went to Detroit with a few of my friends to see Avail and the Sex Pistols reunion that was going on at the time...

 (If I remember correctly, the opening acts at the Sex Pistols show was some shitty 90's Industrial Rock band like Gravity Kills or something...)

 Anyway, I was riding in the back of a friend of a friend's car and was going through his tapes and spied the "Feed Us a Fetus" cover and it was love at first sight!  What's not to like? A fanged Ronald Reagan about to dig into a fetus on a dinner plate (there's even a recipe in the lyric sheet for fetus chili)...So classic...Anyway, I filed it away in my mind and kept my eyes peeled for a loooong time, until I eventually got a vinyl copy....

Kids, if you're looking to scare your parents and piss off your neighbors, bring home a copy of this and it's still guaranteed to do the trick...Sure, all the Reagan stuff is outdated, but getting it on with the family dog never loses its power! I have a feeling people in the U.S. would have lost their minds if they knew about its existence (unfortunately they were very noticed in their home country (Canada), and caused a shit-storm there...).

(Here's an old video of a newscast outlining the hoopla..Kind of the Canadian version of the whole Tipper Gore/PMRC debacle from back in the day...)

This album still cracks me up...Here are some of my favorite lines:

"When I sing songs, I sing about what I know,
But I don't know too much so I don't sing about nothing,
I get my words from reading TV Guide,
I steal all my solos from the Rolling Stones..."

"Buy American,
Pledge your next car to be American,
Oh what a bunch of shit,
Nazi propaganda,
Thanks to crap like that
I've got a cruse missile in my backyard..."

"I'm Ronald McRaygun
McDeath, McNuclear, McWar,
McCommies, McFear, McMe..."

 One odd thing about the album is that side one was recorded in 1985 and side two was recorded in 1981!!! That's a long time between sides! And what's even more weird is that there's almost no audible difference between the two sides...Apparently the songs from side two originally appeared on the band's debut album "Out of the Womb"...



I'm not 100% sure if they're the same versions since I've never heard the "Out of the Womb" album, but the 1981 release date seems to back that theory up...Oh yea, I should probably talk about what the album sounds like...It's reasonably tight and catchy hardcore with some metal overtones...It kind of reminds me of a beer-guzzling, junk TV-watching version of Discharge at times...And in the proud tradition of Darby Crash, the singer goes out of his way to be as obnoxious as possible, but winds up in the "enjoyable" column anyway...I actually have to give Cretin some credit...His vocals are pretty inventive at times...Particularly his delivery on the chorus of "Religious Bumfucks" and his gut-bustingly hilarious series of blah blah blah's on "Argh Fuck Kill"...

Album opener "Stupid Songs" sets the scene perfectly...After a phalanx of thrash guitars, Cretin sings about pulling his wire to the 20-minute workout in a voice that sounds like he couldn't care less, but he's going to shout about it anyway... Also be sure to check out "I Killed Mommy," which is a catchy pop-punk track with some nice whoa-oh-oh harmonies...Imagine early Social Distortion, except instead of singing about their outlaw bad-assness, they sing about their mothers drinking bags of urine...

 Oh yea, that reminds me...Don't forget about Mother's Day this weekend!

 Anyway, this album isn't for the faint-of-heart, but if you've got a healthy (and sick) sense of humor and a thirst for 80's hardcore (and bags of urine), then, by all means,  check it out...

Here's "I Killed Mommy" by the Dayglo Abortions...Enjoy...