The Exploited: Punks Not Dead

The Exploited: Punks Not Dead

1981

Secret Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Punks Not Dead  2. Mucky Pup  3. Cop Cars  4. Free Flight  5. Army Life  6. Blown to Bits  7. Sex & Violence  8. S.P.G  9. Royalty  10. Dole Q  11. Exploited Barmy Army  12. Ripper  13. Out of Control  14. Son of a Copper  15. I Believe in Anarchy



Y'know, it struck me the other day that I've been watching The Price is Right for forty years now and I still have no idea what Gold Bond Medicated Powder is.

 Now that I'm an old-ass man, I'm sure it's something I need, yet I have no clue what it is. And it's not like somebody invented a program that searches for and identifies items in a database that correspond to keywords or characters specified by the user. Do I have to do everything around here?!?!

But I didn't invite you here to discuss my need for medicated powder. I invited you here to shoot the breeze about some old punk record I have..."Punks Not Dead" by The Exploited. And oh, man...This record. It's absurd. It's hilarious. It's fantastic. It's catchy as fuck. It's stupid as fuck. I love it.

"Y'know wot? I know it's old fashioned and a little bit corny in this day and age but dagnabbit! I still believe in anarchy! Y'know that old chestnut anarchy? Were those the days or wot? The world was a simpler place then...Kids throwing flaming trash cans into the streets...Motorcycle fetish mutants molestin' old ladies?"

"My political beliefs? Well, I believe in anarchy and stuff...I think the world would be a better place if we could just all do what we want...If you want to work together to build schools for the community you could do that or if you wanted to just smash a window with a hunk of concrete you could do that too, y'know? Anarchy is utopia if you think about it...I think the world would be a better place if Wattie were President...The President of Anarchy..."

Like many teens who stumbled into punk I eventually worked my way to the "E's" and ended up with an Exploited album.

I started with a cassette version of "The Singles Collection" and I can tell you that as a mentally-impaired teenager, I fell for its charms hook, line and sinker...

"These guys are real ponk! Not that fake Blink 182 pop-punk shit! The Exploited are for real! These guys who dress like colorful Mad Max murder clowns are just being themselves and don't care at all what other people think! If I ever see a goddamn mod around here, I'll jump on 'is goddamn 'ead!!!"

But then as my brain stem grew in, aspects of the album became funnier and funnier to me... And one of those gut-busting moments appears on this "Punks Not Dead" album! The enduring anthem "Exploited Barmy Army," which never fails to crack me up because it takes sooooo fuckiiiing loooooong to spell their name. They decide to go mid-tempo just to drag things out too..."E! (big long drum roll and punk chugging...) X! (another infinity of drum rolling and distant chugging) P! and so on and so on...

 If you're unfamiliar with The Exploited, they're a sort of yobbish oi punk, but I guess that's probably not too helpful a description, because if the phrase "yobbish oi punk" means anything to you, then you'd probably already know who the Exploited are. I'd say they helped define and solidify what generic "punk" is. Prior to this, punk was a wide-ranging genre that encompassed arty new wave bands to street-level rock to literary-minded guitar jam bands. But pretty much since this UK 82 shit came out, it's become the default setting for so many years and if you fail to adhere to its suddenly rigid guidelines, you're often met with cries of "THAT'S NOT PUNK!" I think it's because The Exploited and these other bands proclaimed their punk-ness so loudly and so often.

A lot of previous punk bands hemmed and hawed and talked about how they were always trying to transcend the limits of punk. On the other hand, The Exploited happily wallowed in the cliches. They understood the glory of the incessantly buzzing guitar, the breakneck tempo and the big terrace chants.  As a result, "Punks Not Dead" is a such a blast to listen to. Find some other people who know it, crack a few beers and chant along blissfully. It's a lot of fun!

My favorites? God...I've always thought "Army Life" was a catchy little punk song with all it's stop and start "ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME-ME!"'s and you can't go wrong with tossing the title track on at a Friday night record party...Their cover of "Mucky Pup" shows they have a sense of humor...I'm also apparently one of the few folks who can stand the endless chant "Sex and Violence." These guys have a real knack for creating memorable chants, actually.

(Almost wholly unrelated memory: Me and my friends looking at the back of a Total Chaos CD cover and seeing the title "Punk No Die" and laughing hysterically). 

Again, the whole thing's a lot of good fun. Great shoutalong yobbo punk. No shame in that. Alright, let's yob...Here's "Punks Not Dead" by the Expoi' ed! BAHMY-AHMY!