Grim Reaper: See You in Hell
1983.
Ebony Records
Format I Own it on: Vinyl
Track Listing: 1. See You in Hell 2. Dead on Arrival 3. Liar 4. Wrath of the Ripper 5. Now or Never 6. Run for Your Life 7. The Show Must Go On 8. All Hell Let Loose
I chose this particular album because it just so happens that I'm going to the Infected Dragon this weekend to get the album cover tattooed across my entire back...
I thought that getting this tattooed on my back would make a great 25th anniversary present for my wife. The guy said that a tattoo of that magnitude would usually cost at least a couple grand, but he's going to do it for only $200 if I agree to sign a waiver and allow them to use used needles.
Now, you may ask yourself, "Jimmy, why this album and not, say, a Molly Hatchet album cover?"
The answer is easy. I love this fucken album. Normally, I'm more of a Sammy Hagar/Early-Speedwagon guy and tend to shy away from the 666 stuff, but my friend Rat (who got the nickname after eating a piece of cheese out of a dog's ass) introduced me to this. At first I was like, "Dude! Why show me this devil stuff? I'm down with the Man Upstairs if you know what I mean. If I'm going to listen to hardcore metal I'll listen to Stryper (or the Nuge who, I believe, is a devout Christian)." But he kept popping it into the cassette deck in my Trans Am and you know what? It wasn't that bad. They certainly talk a lot about hell, but in my opinion they're not actually worshiping it, so it's alright.
What does it sound like? Imagine Judas Priest if they didn't act so macho all the time.
Grim Reaper's not afraid to throw in a nice power ballad for the ladies. Hence, album highlight "The Show Must Go On." But what's admirable is that Steve Grimmett doesn't sound like a big pussy doing it. His tender vocal performance has a stoic dignity that must have driven the girls crazy along with his rugged, British, good looks...
Now, I'm not a faig, but if I had to make love to just one man it would definitely be Steve Grimmet. He of the gale-force howl and lion-like mane (remind me to delete this blog post when I'm not soused on Red Dog).
My Greatest Accomplishment: Me and my friend, the Alimentary Salamander ('Mander for short), were at the Ogema County Fair circa 1988. As I walked down the midway, a certain carnival mirror caught my eye....
You're seeing it right. A fucking "See You in Fucking Hell" carnival mirror. I paid the good man a dollar and got my ball to throw at the pyramid of milk bottles.
I gave it my best pitch but...A miss! But I wasn't going to go home without that mirror, so I handed the Carny another dollar, but another miss. And another and another! I was forkin' over dollar bills left and right, but then on my 500th try...POW! A direct hit! So it cost me half a grand, but it was worth it. It now hangs prominently on the wall in my mancave next to my $20,000.00 Budweiser Frog mirror...
Jealous? The Frog Mirror was actually a gift that I gave to my wife for our 15th anniversary. Her gift to me that year? Well, let's just say she let me bang her sister for one night, who looks exactly like my wife, except she's ten-times hotter (because she has a third boob)...
That'll be a hard anniverary to top, so I think this year we're just going to renew our vows, except we're going to be having an all-camo wedding...
At the end of the ceremony, the flower girl is going to open a cage and release 25 ducks (one for each year of our marriage) and the bridesmaids and the best man are going to shewt them all...At the reception we'll have a wedding cake made out of 1500 scooter pies...Mmmmm MMMM!!
(Jimmy suddenly realizes his character has gotten away from him. Takes a minute to regain his composure and rediscover his core)...
Listen, it's Friday Night. I had fun fuckin' around on this faiggy blog, but I got places to go, beers to drink, pussies to fuck.
- Jimmy Camaro
(Denim-nista, Lifestyle blogger)
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