Dire Straits: Brothers in Arms
1985
Warner Bros. Records
Format I Own it on: Vinyl
Track Listing: 1. So Far Away 2. Money for Nothing 3. Walk of Life 4. Your Latest Trick 5. Why Worry 6. Ride Across the River 7. The Man's Too Strong 8. One World 9. Brothers in Arms
Welcome to another fine episode of 1985 Theater...Today's episode details the trials and tribulations of an everyday Yuppie set against the backdrop of the CD Revolution...It's called "CD or Not CD"...Enjoy....
Yuppie: Hey, honey...I'm gonna drive my Beemer down to Fretter's and pick up one of those new CD Players...
My portfolio performed quite well this week and I think I'm going to splurge a little...Pick up a bit of coke from Julio, maybe a couple of Bartles & Jaymes from the party store and listen to some Compact Discs...I don't really like music, but CD's are a thing now, so I guess I better throw away my dusty old vinyl copy of "The Eagles Greatest Hits Vol. 2"...Goodbye outdated old records...
*SMASH!!!*
(smashes vinyl record, pisses on the shattered pieces, curses Thomas Edison's mother)
RECORDS??!!?! HAHAHA WHAT'R THOSE?!?!?! I ONLY LISTEN TO COMPACT DISCS!!!!
What if Marlene finds out about my affair? Play it cool, hotshot...Like Tom Cruise in "Risky Business" (flips up collar, puts on shades)...Maybe she doesn't know...
(Pulls into Fretter Appliance)
Salesman: Welcome to Fretter's Appliace...This week we have the semi-annual "Try to Better Fretter" sale, where we take 25% off the leading competitor's...
Yuppie: LAY OFF ME, MAN!!! I'VE GOT A LOT OF HEAVY SHIT ON MY MIND!! I'M ABOUT TO LOSE MY SHIRT ON THE BULL MARKET AND MARLENE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW!!! SHE'S PROBABLY BOOKING A $10,000 WEEKEND AT CAPE COD AS WE SPEAK!!!! I"M FUCKED, MAN!!! FUUUUUUCKED!!!! I was interested in a CD Player, actually...What do you suggest?
Salesman: Well, we have the Phillips CD650, which is one of our most popular models...This particular machine features digital filtration to enhance sound reproduction, ultra high-speed track-to-track access, personal programming features, plus I hear that if you take it apart you can turn the laser into some sort of death ray, which may come in handy when you're battling mutants for gasoline after Gorbachev decides to drop the big one...
Yuppie: I'll take two...Oh, and what are the hot CD's now?
Salesman: Lessie...If you're into rock, we have Phil Collin's "No Jacket Required"...
Yuppie: I don't agree with his politics...I personally believe a jacket should ALWAYS be required...What else you got?
Salesman: If you're into the heavier rock, we have "Songs from the Big Chair" by Tears for Fears...We have Whitney Houston if you like more ethnic, urban, soul music..."Brothers In Arms" by Dire Straits is pretty hot too...Although, if you're really into having your skull blown off in an ear-shredding orgy of lysergic bliss we have "Bring Me the Head of Yuri Gagarin" by fucking Hawkwind, dude...
Yuppie: Wait, wait, wait...What was the one before that?
Salesman: Oh, Dire Straits..."Brothers in Arms"...Yea, me and the old lady fuck to it all the time...Hot, hot album...Clean, man...Clear...You get some good coke and you can just blow to this all night...
Yuppie: Sounds fantastic, Al...Wrap it up for me...
Salesman: But, but...My name is Kevin...
Salesman: Alright, that'll be Nine Thousand Dollars..
Yuppie: No sweat...Put it on plastic...
Salesman: All right, here you go, Sir...
(hands over 9-foot long CD longbox)
(Drives home, hooks up CD Player...Puts on "Brothers in Arms")
Yuppie: My God!! Listen to that! The crystalline sound quality really brings out the empty, hollow, plastic production...It's like Mark Knopfler is noodling away right in my living room...No annoying scratches, pops or warmth...Just pristine digital flatness as far as the ear can hear...
Hey, honey...
Yes, Dear?
After hearing the Dire Straits song "Brothers in Arms," I decided to start worrying about wars and stuff...
Oh, that's great...
I think I might even buy the "We Are the World" album...Y'know...Make a difference...
Before you do that, I want you to know I know all about you and your Secretary. I want a divorce...Give me half and we can mostly keep this out of court...
THE BITCH WANTS HALF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
................................................................................................................................
Alright...That's all we have today for 1985 Theater...Hope you enjoyed today's episode...Oh, yea I might as well devalue the penny and toss in my two-cents on Dire Straits monster breakthrough "Brothers in Arms"...
A few days ago I talked about how boring I thought this album was when I first laid ears on it somewhere in the 90's, but now it's probably my favorite album by the band...This might be attributable to the fact that the vinyl version I have is edited down from the bloated CD track-listing...So endless, sprawling fuckarounds suddenly become succinct pop...And Mark's finds a way to make his vocal melodies actually go somewhere, front-loading the album with a big ol' pile of classic 80's pop singles...It takes my ears a minute to adjust to the big, empty soundscape but once I'm acclimated, "So Far Away" reveals itself as endlessly catchy subdued pop and "Walk of Life" has that life-affirming organ hook going for it...
But the big hit here was "Money For Nothing" which was inescapably huge at the time...Probably due to the video which was the first time a lot of folks really got to see some computer animation...
"Woah, it's so amazingly...square!!!" Anyway, as a kid watching it on Friday Night Videos, I was sure as hell sold....
Or it might have something to do with Sting...Who knows...Nonetheless, it's an 80's landmark...With the driest guitar tone possible and the memorable lyrics where Mark assumes the character of a blue-collar working man, talking trash on the strange new breed of MTV superstars that were emerging at the time...The right sound and the right subject matter at the right time...Lightning in a bottle...
The rest of the album reverts back to the band's default mode of moody, slow-mo atmospherics but there's some really varied and enjoyable stuff... "Your Latest Trick" is awesomely cheesy with that David Sanborn-esque smooth-jazz sax riff...Real dentist chair pop...It's also interesting to hear the band tackle world-music on "Ride Across the River"...It's really no surprise this thing shot to the top of the charts...Dire Straits always had an interesting sound and Mark had an interesting way of painting detailed landscapes with his lyrics, but their melodies almost always tended to be a bit amorphous or blurry...But everything is in sharp focus here, as Mark decides to throw radio programmers a bone for once...(Well, twice if you count "Sultans of Swing" seven years earlier)...I say start here unless you're a real atmosphere/guitar-noodle head...
Anyway, here's that "Money For Nothing" by Dire Straits...Enjoy....
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