Various Christmas Albums

I'm apologizing in advance...This week is going to very light on new posts. Mainly because I'm going to be busy doing Christmassy things...

Like drinking gallons of  brandy and eggnog...

 ...and building a sweltering dirtman (since we don't have snow in Arizona...)

 ...Or I might decide to provide a burnt offering to the dread Christmas-Beast Krampus...

All sorts of fun things to do on Christmas!

My original plan was to do a whole week of Holiday albums but Christmas kind of sneaked up on me this year...Additionally, I don't have enough Christmas albums to fill a full week, so I just combined them all into one post... So put on your Christmas shoes, Rob Lowe, cos we're jumping right in...

Johnny Cash: The Christmas Spirit

1963

Columbia Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. The Christmas Spirit  2. I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day  3. Blue Christmas  4. The Gifts They Gave  5. Here Was a Man  6. Christmas as I Knew It  7. Silent Night  8. The Little Drummer Boy  9. Ringing the Bells for Jim  10. We Are the Shepherds  11. Who Kept the Sheep  12. Ballad of the Harp Weaver


I bought this along with the other stack of Johnny Cash records I covered a few months back, but I decided to skip it, since it made more sense to discuss it at Christmastime...

You ever hear that old statistic that claims suicide rates are the highest around the Holidays? Well, that's probably because they listened to this album and decided life was too bleak to continue...Man, there's some sad-sack stuff on here...

"Ringing the Bells for Jim" is about his brother dying on Christmas, "Ballad of Harp Weaver" is about a Mother killing herself to provide winter clothes for her son and "Here Is a Man" gives the gritty details about the crucifixion of Christ...and they're all delivered in that grave, spoken word style that Johnny uses when he's looking to put a lump in your throat about a flag or whatnot. I mean, I guess somebody has to say this stuff....

It's not all death and destruction though...When he takes on the standards, the album is frequently as serene and beautiful as you could expect a Christmas album to be...But you should really check this out for "We Are the Shepherds," where Johnny does the greatest low note I've ever heard...When I played this on headphones, the "Wee-e-e-e-e-e..." in the chorus it made my eardrums rattle and itch...

 So I recommend this if you're hardy of spirit, but if you're feeling a little overwhelmed this holiday season, this might topple you into the abyss...I give it three nooses...

 Here's "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" by Johnny Cash...Enjoy...

Elvis Presley: Elvis' Christmas Album

1970

RCA/Camden Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Blue Christmas  2. Silent Night  3. White Christmas  4. Santa Claus Is Back in Town  5. I'll Be Home for Christmas  6. If Every Day Was Like Christmas  7. Here Comes Santa Claus  8. O Little Town of Bethlehem  9. Santa, Bring My Baby Back to Me (to Me)  10. Mama Liked the Roses


My Mom is a huge Elvis fan, and played his music often, so I grew up with stuff. I distinctly remember she had the 8-track of "Elvis' Christmas Album" and "The Wonderful World of Christmas."

 

"Elvis' Christmas Album" has been released many times with many different track listings and covers...

 

It was originally released in 1957 with a festive red cover. This version contained 12 songs, four of which were previously released gospel recordings from an earlier EP...

The version I have is a 1970 reissue, which has 10 tracks. This pressing drops the four gospel numbers and replaces them with the 1966 single "If Everyday Was Like Christmas" and a random, maudlin non-holiday song called "Mama Liked the Roses."

 I've always been a Christmas fanatic...I live for this time of year, and as bad as I am now, I was even worse as a kid...Sure, I was practically foaming at the mouth to open gifts but it was more than that...I loved everything about it, even the little things like...

 

...Hearing those ominous tribal drums and then seeing that swirling rainbow "Special" logo they used to play before the Christmas cartoons... 

 Getting pulled behind a snowmobile at 40 miles per hour in a flimsy plastic sled (and the resulting head injuries)...

Waking up on Christmas Day to a stocking full of Garbage Pail Kids, Silly Putty and Comic Books...But most of all I loved the music...I was grateful for every piece of Christmas music I could get my hands on, and as a result those Elvis 8-tracks got quite the workout in December...

And maybe it's just the fact that I heard these so much as a child but, to me, Elvis has the perfect voice to sing Christmas songs...So velvety and comforting, like putting on a big, fuzzy Christmas sweater, and sitting in your favorite chair, listening to a crackling fire while looking peacefully at the twinkling lights on the tree...

WAITASECOND! THOSE AREN'T TWINKLING LIGHTS!!!! THAT'S  A FIVE-ALARM CHRISTMAS FIRE!!!!

Well, while we wait for the Fire Department to show up, let's listen to "Here Comes Santa Claus" by Elvis...Which I swear, is the most Christmassy song ever...That good holiday feeling pressed onto flimsy 70's budget-label wax...Enjoy...

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Christmas With the Chipmunks

1961

Liberty Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Here Comes Santa Claus  2.  Up on the House-Top  3. Silver Bells  4. Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer  5. Jingle Bells  6. Over the River and Through the Woods  7. Santa Claus is Coming to Town  8. It's Beginning to Look Like Christmas  9. Frosty the Snowman  10. White Christmas  11. The Chipmunk Song  12. We Wish You a Merry Christmas


 Hands down my favorite Christmas album as a child. It's weird, because as a kid, I was extremely resistant to "children's music."  I just hated all of it...It never rocked and it always felt so phony...You can keep your "Do Your Ears Hang Low"...I wanted Kiss, AC/DC and Nazareth!



But for some reason, the Chipmunks Christmas album was a big exception. The version I have now is on vinyl (which I bought at the short-lived Tucson shop "Nostalgic Novelties," which was the most awesome place ever... I only got to go there once, but I damn near blew a whole paycheck there...The place was floor to ceiling with 70's and 80's stuff...

I drove back there a week later and the place was gone...Oh well...)

But originally I had this album on cassette...

 I swear to you, me and my brother would put this on the stereo at night and the tape would just endlessly play while we slept...I can vividly remember one night I woke from a dead sleep to hear the tape being mangled by the stereo...Chipmunks voices began to speed up even further and warp! I ran to the tape deck to salvage it but was horrified to realize I had arrived too late...The tape was gone...

 

I was inconsolable...Hysterical! How could this happen?!?!?! Christmas was ruined for sure without the dulcet tones of Alvin and the boys singing "It's Beginning to Look Like Christmas!"

My Mom was kind enough to drive to the drug store the next day and pick us up another copy! Thanks, Mom! Christmas is back on! 

 I still think this is one of the most solid Christmas albums out there..It's so much fun and the song selection is absolute perfection! These are the exact songs I think about when I think of Christmas...And I honestly find Dave's tender rendition of "Silver Bells" to be moving...I highly recommend this album, especially if you have kids...If they're anything like me (ahem...Paternity Test...) those buggers'll lose their damn minds when they hear it...

Here's "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)" by Alvin and the Chipmunks...

Okay...Did you send the kids to bed? Alright, now it's time for the raunchy stuff...Let's put this on...

Rudy Ray Moore: The Rudy Ray Moore Christmas Album (Merry Christmas, Baby)

197X (Can't find  a date on the record or anywhere online...but it's definitely from the early 70's) 

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Merry Christmas, Baby and more...  2. The Night Before Christmas and Still More...


I'm a long-time Rudy Ray Moore admirer...I've written countless songs about him, and I've seen all his movies hundreds of times, so it was a no-brainer when I came across this record and saw Rudy, naked as the day he was born (which in itself is nothing new), decorating the Christmas tree with a bunch of righteous nude chicks...It took me half a second to buy it, and even though $5.98 is prominently printed in the upper left-hand corner I ended up paying nearly twice that, but it was worth every penny...

I think you either find Rudy's stiff, lumbering delivery endlessly hilarious or you just don't...To me, there's nothing funnier than when Rudy slowly delivers his set-up and you can see the punchline coming a mile away but you just don't know where the cussing is going to be...To me, he's a master of profanity...He savors every foul world, so a word as seemingly simple as "ass"  ends up being delivered, with gusto, as "aaayyyy-usssss!" 

In my opinion the best thing about the album is the rating system on the back cover...Side one is totally clean, no swearing, just clean jokes and some songs (anybody who has seen any of his films is familiar with his voice, since he always ends up singing most of the songs in his movies...). As a result, this side is awarded with a "G" rating...

Side Two is a completely different story...This is where Rudy unleashes his trademark blue humor (which peaks with a hysterical retelling of "Twas the Night Before Christmas.") This side is branded with an "X" rating...But wait, he combines the two and gives an "Overall Rating" of "R." This is really hilarious to me, for some reason...I can't help but translate the logic into Hollywood terms, which would be the equivalent of a theater showing "Bambi" for 40 minutes and "Deep Throat" for the last 40 minutes and giving the entire thing an "R" rating. 

Just a solid, entertaining forty minutes...Again, the jokes themselves aren't generally funny but the delivery is always gut-bustingly hilarious. Fans of Rudy Ray Moore and 70's party records will get plenty of enjoyment from this...So before you get lit up like a Christmas tree and lie down on your water bed with your fine, fine lady, let's turn on the steer-eo...

Here's "Merry Christmas, Baby" by Rudy Ray Moore. Merry Xmas everybody...

Johnny Cash: The Essential Johnny Cash

Johnny Cash: The Essential Johnny Cash

2002

Legacy/Columbia

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: Disc 1: 1. Hey Porter  2. Cry! Cry! Cry!  3. I Walk the Line  4. Get Rhythm  5. There You Go  6. Ballad of a Teenage Queen  7. Big River  8. Guess Things Happen That Way  9. All Over Again  10. Don't Take Your Guns to Town  11. Five Feet High and Rising  12. The Rebel - Johnny Yuma  13. Tennessee Flat Top Box  14. I Still Miss Someone  15. Ring of Fire  16. The Ballad of Ira Hayes  17. Orange Blossom Special  18. Were You There (When They Crucified My Lord)

Disc 2:  1.  It Ain't Me, Babe  2. The One on the Right Is on the Left  3. Jackson  4. Folsom Prison Blues (live version)  5. Daddy Sang Bass  6. Girl from the North Country  7. A Boy Named Sue  8. If I Were a Carpenter  9. Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down  10. Flesh and Blood  11. Man in Black  12. Ragged Old Flag  13. One Piece at a Time  14. Ghost Riders in the Sky  15. Song of the Patriot  16. Highwayman  17. The Night Hank Williams Came to Town  18. The Wanderer


If you look through almost anybody's music collection it's almost inevitable there's going to be a Johnny Cash Greatest Hits compilation in there somewhere... There's been roughly a million of them, from skimpy cheap-o's  to deluxe box sets, but out of all them I've heard this is one of the better ones...

A chronologically sequenced collection with a heavy emphasis on the mid 50's to early 70's...Which is exactly what you want from a Johnny Cash compilation...What's cool about this is that it has a couple of tracks that were guest spots on other artist's albums, such as...



His collabo with Bob Dylan on "Girl from the North Country"...



...and his guest vocal turn on U2's wonderfully apocalyptic "The Wanderer."

If your collection is lacking "Ring of Fire," "I Walk the Line,"  "Five Feet High and Rising," etc, then this really is essential. One legendary tune after another...Although a song or two from his acclaimed "American Recordings" series would have made this the perfect overview...



Really, this whole line of "Essential " collections that Legacy/Columbia puts out are always dead-on..



I mean, I'd argue that every Stabbing Westward album is essential, but this has songs from both the Spawn Soundtrack and the Escape From L.A. Soundtracks! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?@?@?@?@?@?@ THE ESCAPE FROM L!A!!! SOUNDTRACK!!!##!$!$!#!#!%!%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Actually now that I think of it, I might have actually seen Stabbing Westward live once...Did they open for Megadeth or something in the early 90's? I swear I've seen them before...)



The Essential Incubus Soundtrack!!! TWO HOURS OF THE MOST VITAL AND IMPORTANT MUSIC EVER MADE KNOWN TO MANKIND!!!



The Essential Kenny G!! This one has the great song "Toodle Doo, Da Dooble Doo, Da Doodle Doo..." and "Dooble Dee Doodle Dee Da Doodle Oodle Dee." The very definition of "essential."

Alright, enough kidding around...Let's get back to Johnny Cash...

Wow, today's post has been an almost total loss..Anyway, the "Essential Johnny Cash" is the dopest thing ever...Let's check out "Flesh and Blood" by Johnny Cash...Enjoy...

Johnny Cash: The World of Johnny Cash

Johnny Cash: The World of Johnny Cash

1970

Columbia Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: Record 1: 1. I Still Miss Someone  2. Pickin' Time  3. My Shoes keep Walking Back to You  4. I Want to Go Home  5. I Feel Better All Over  6. I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry  7. Suppertime  8. In Them Old Cottonfields Back Home   9. Delia's Gone  10. One More Ride

Record 2: 1. Accidentally on Purpose  2. In the Jailhouse Now  3. I Forgot More Than You'll Ever Know  4. Casey Jones  5. Frankie's Man Johnny  6. The Legend of John Henry's Hammer  7. When Papa Played the Dobro  8. Busted  9. Sing It Pretty, Sue  10. Waiting for a Train



Like most kids, I spent an absurd amount of my childhood parked in front of a television set, nerves fried with Coca-Cola, and a big ol' bowl of Cap'n Crunch in hand...

Sure, I probably should have been outside, playing with other kids, developing social skills or something, but I honestly wouldn't trade those marathon early 80's TV watching sessions for the world...And one of the most indelible television images was watching Johnny Cash yukking it up with Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street...

I don't know why that moment stuck with me so much...For decades afterwards I still called him "Johnny Trash."

The other television performance of his that always sticks out to me was his appearance on an episode of Columbo they used to always air on Sunday mornings...I usually complained the entire two hours Columbo was on, but on this particular Sunday, I sat riveted watching the Johnny Cash episode...Something about him was so compelling...It felt like an event...Who could forget this performance of "I Saw the Light" in that episode?

But in addition to his TV presence, I also can remember hearing him on country radio from time...He sounded so strange next to the slick dance-pop country that he was often situated next to...The modern country songs seemed like they had all their rough edges buffed out to an iridescent sheen...Homogenous voices, bumper-sticker lyrics...Then suddenly they would play a Johnny Cash song and it sounded so strange and skeletal...It sounded so real...

Look at the cover of this 2-record set...I can't tell if he's supposed to be a stone-faced pilgrim, a fire-and -brimstone preacher or an outlaw on the lam...My guess is all three...

"The World of Johnny Cash" is a two record "greatest hits" album from 1970, but it's cool because it features only minor hits and album cuts...As someone who pretty much only knew Johnny's big hits this was great for me...Turns out his second tier material is just as good as the top shelf stuff...Who knew that he did a version of "Sloop John B'" called "I Want to Go Home"...Hell, according to the song writing credits he wrote it!  

I also had never come across "The Legend of John Henry's Hammer." This song is the man! So ambitious! Eight and a half minutes with music that constantly shifts to match the lyrics...Prog Country?!?!

Well, it's about time for me to go before I turn into a pumpkin...But yea. there's

so many hidden treasures here...I bought this for  two bucks at Revolver Records in Tempe and was totally worth every penny! All 200 of 'em...

Let's check out "Pickin' TIme" by Johnny Cash. Enjoy...

Johnny Cash: Hello, I'm Johnny Cash

Johnny Cash: Hello, I'm Johnny Cash

1970

Columbia Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Southwind  2. Devil to Pay  3. Cause I Love You  4. See Ruby Fall  5. Route No. 1, Box 144  6. Sing a Traveling Song  7. If I Were a Carpenter  8. To Beat the Devil  9. Blistered  10. Wrinkled Crinkled Wadded Dollar Bill  11. I've Got a Thing About Trains  12. Jesus Was a Carpenter


Man, Johnny Cash put out a lot of albums...96 albums is the official count...I only have a few of them, so I'm probably missing a lot of context and I probably shouldn't be discussing Johnny Cash in a public forum with such limited knowledge, but I will anyway...Blah, blah, blabbity blah blah blah...

Man, were the other 95 albums this good or did I just blindly choose one of his best album? Outside of a greatest hits or live record, I can't picture a better introduction to his music... This is deeply American music sung in a deeply American voice...Songs about trains, fallen soldiers, porch-swings, and Lake Michigan winters...

It's a country/folk/rock hybrid that honestly transcends all genres and musical tastes...Go ask that punk guy with the big mohawk and the Celine Dion jacket what he thinks about country music...

 ...I bet he says, "I hate all country music...Except Johnny Cash..."

Let's ask Darkelorde Quorthor to take a few moments out of his early morning nature hike to ask him about his favorite bands...

 "I listen to Blasphemous Existence, Mortuous, Malevolent Fleshwound (only their early brutal stuff, though)  and oh...Johnny Cash..."

And why shouldn't they like Johnny Cash? There's some great music here..."See Ruby Fall" makes me want to order a Sarsaparilla down at the Saloon...

Love that rollicking barroom piano..Make it a double, bartender...Yeee-hawwww!!  He also nails a cover of Kris Kristofferson's "To Beat the Devil." He totally convinces you that although he may not have beaten the devil he drank his beer...and stole his song....Awesome!

(Although the devil doesn't look old enough to drink, if you ask me...)

BTW, "I've Got a Thing About Trains" is the best song title I've heard in awhile...In my mind there's a bit of an apologetic tinge to it...

"

 "I'm sorry I freaked out back there, but...I've got a thing about trains..."

Toss in not one, but two songs about carpenters and you've got a winner...So let's check out  "Blistered" by Johnny Cash...

Johnny Cash: At Folsom Prison

Johnny Cash: At Folsom Prison

1968

Columbia Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Folsom Prison Blues  2. Dark as a Dungeon  3. I Still Miss Someone  4. Cocaine Blues  5. 25 Minutes to Go  6. Orange Blossom Special  7. The Long Black Veil  8. Send a Picture of Mother  9. The Wall  10. Dirty Old Egg-Suckin' Dog  11. Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Heart  12. Jackson  13. Give My Love to Rose  14. I Got Stripes  15. Green, Green Grass of Home  16. Greystone Chapel





Multiple versions of this album have been released over the years...

 Deluxe CD editions with extended track listings, DVD's, books, etc...But I don't have any of those versions...I just have the old, dusty, 16-song original vinyl version...

So that's the version we'll be discussing today...

Whenever I hear the name Johnny Cash two things immediately jump into my head:

1. "Hello, I'm Johnny Cash..."
2. "I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die..."

I'm sure you're the same way...I don't know why those two moments stand out above all others, but for me, they do... I think it's because taken together they kind of summarize the man's appeal...On one hand, his simple introduction seems so humble...This guy was a legend! Michael Buffer should have grandly announced his entrance while fireworks exploded around him and "Also Zach Zarathustra" blared in the background....



But no... Just grave silence, "Hello, I'm Johnny Cash," some applause, and he jumps right into that steady, train-track rhythm ...

On the other hand that "Folsom Prison Blues" lyric is so cold-blooded...Delivered in his tombstone baritone, it comes across as incredibly dangerous and bad-ass sounding...

Humble and Bad-Ass? Now that's an interesting combination!  And both of those moments happen within the first minute of this record, so for that reason alone,  I'm calling this the Johnny Cash record...

I've had a copy of this album just about as long as I can remember...I can recall looking at the title "Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison"  and thinking "Uh-oh, what'd he do?" Did he really kill someone? Did "Cocaine Blues" hold some sort of clue?

Nah, turns out he was just there to play a concert for the prisoners...Which was a brilliant concept that forever cemented his reputation as the salt-of-the Earth country outlaw. The righteous everyman who never turned his back on those wretched men that society had discarded and left to rot in a  cell...

No matter how jaded you get, that's a pretty powerful concept, and he had the songs to do it, too! I can't think of a better setlist for the occasion...Prison songs of all stripes...You get the hardcore criminal yarns ("Folsom Prison Blues," and "Cocaine Blues"),  execution songs, some serious ("Long Black Veil," "Green, Green Grass of Home") and some humorous ("25 Minutes to Go"), songs written by inmates ("Send a Picture of Mother" and Greystone Chapel")...The whole thing has a perfect ratio of comedy and drama, and the band achieves the ideal balance of loose-yet-tight playing... The rhythm section is precise which allows the guitars and vocals to dance around the  always-steady beat...It gives the music a lot of character...

To me the highlight (besides the legendary opening performance of "Folsom Prison Blues," because...duh...) is "Cocaine Blues," a rollicking murder ballad that makes a first-degree homicide charge sound like so much fun. 

 The duet with June Carter on "Jackson" is also first rate...They honestly sound like they're having a ball and you can't help be swept up by it all...

But really, the whole thing is phenomenal...This is easily one of the best live albums out there;  the right performer in front of the right audience with the right songs and Johnny sells it all with his monumental presence...Enormously entertaining...If for some reason you've missed this, I'd remedy that if I were you..

The "Live in Prison" concept was so successful he even did a sequel!



Johnny Cash at San Quentin...

 Too bad he never got around to "Intensity in Tent City!"

What do you serve your guests at your Friday Night Record Party while you listen to "At Folsom Prison"? Why, what else but...

...Bread...

...and water in a tin cup!

So let's carve a toothbrush into a shiv and check out "Cocaine Blues" by Johnny Cash...Enjoy...