Friday Night Record Party : The London Symphony Orchestra and Chorus: Hallmark Presents the Most Loved Christmas Carols

It's the Friday Night Record Party Christmas party! Let's twist!

(drinks eggnog. feels a twisting pain in stomach. Sweats and has to lie down.)

(ting ting ting ting ting)

"Do you kids hear that? It sounds kinda like jingle bells doesn't it? Could it be?"

"It is!! It's Santa! And he's carrying a big sack! Could it be full of presents and toys for you?!?! I bet it is! Oh, I bet he's bringing that bike you asked for! And the sled! And the Xbox One!!"

"Oh, wait...Nevermind...He flew right past our house...Go back to bed I guess...Maybe we'll just shovel snow tomorrow instead..."

(BTW, it kinda bothers me that they called the latest Xbox, the Xbox One, cos now I don't know what to call my old Xbox...)

(Maybe I'll just start referring to it as the 30 lb. brick in my closet...)

Anyway, our Christmas Party is in full swing...Slick Snailman is drunk on Cold Duck and telling us what's wrong with this country and Bethany from accounting is showing her boobs! None of the IT Department showed up cos all they're all watching Star Wars...Oh, well...All is good...And on the turntable?

The London Symphony Orchestra and Chorus: Hallmark Presents the Most Loved Christmas Carols

1985

Hallmark Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. O Come, All Ye Faithful 2. The First Noel 3. God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen 4. Angels We Have Heard On High 5. O Holy Night 6. Deck The Halls 7. We Wish You A Merry Christmas 8. The Twelve Days Of Christmas 9. Hark! The Angels Sing 10. What Child Is This? 11. Silent Night 12. Joy To The World

I got this record for free about 2 days after last Christmas...And I think it hits the Christmas mark more cleanly than any other Holiday record I own, except for possibly the Chipmunks Christmas album...This is some deep, deep Christmas shit...

This is the bitter taste of cinnamon in a particularly pungent Christmas Pudding...

...the very dead Christmas goose that delights the children...

...the real candles on the Christmas tree, an inch away from torching your entire house down...

This is massed choirs and ominous music...Taking place in a fussy, ornate church where the foreboding light barely shines through the stained glass, causing red and blue baubles of light to dance across the clusters of gold...Vaguely unsettling but at the same time imbued with a joyous wonder..."Who's Kid is This?" asks Mary to the cold, unanswering sky...A robed angel, wings spread wide like a swooping bird of prey, hovers gently to the ground to break the news, "An invisible man hath stolen your womb in the dead of the night and filled it with life, but fear not...For you have sacrificed your virginity for a greater glory! Listen to how the choir of angels sing! HEAR THEM AND REJOICE!!!"

Suddenly " Deck The Halls" and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" glow brighter in the light of recent trauma..."dazed...head hurts...light bright...I hear a song..."Tis a wondrous song..." You stumble towards the bedroom, as you pass the unlit hall a stranger puts his hand on your shoulder and asks, "You alright, kid?" Is it an angel?

There is no snow in the Arizona heat...There was also no snow on the first Christmas...