Dwarves: Blood, Guts & Pussy

Uh-oh...NSFW cover alert coming up...You know the drill...If your kids are in the room or if your titty-hatin' boss is hanging over your shoulder you might want to scroll real fast until you see the naked chicks and midget scroll by...Until then, here's a few pictures of SFW things..

"Nope, Boss...Just googlin' how many days until our Lord and Savior returns to Earth and wipes out that titty-filled internet once and for all..."

 "Hey, kids...Let's turn off that 'Amazing World of Gumball' and watch one of the children's shows that I used to watch as a kid...Hey! Why are you kids leaving the room so fast? Oh well...Guess I'll have to look at titties and midgets on the internet...Ain't that right, Hon?"

"Nah, Hon...I was just kiddin'! Look, I'm just looking at screengrabs of my favorite Julia Roberts film! Hey! That gives me a great idea! Why don't you run to the store and pick up some popcorn and we'll have a Julia Roberts movie marathon!"

Okay, now that everyone's gone...Get ready to scroll real fast cos there's going to be two NSFW covers in a row coming up...Unless you're home alone reading this...Then yank your wire all you like...I'm not watching...

Alright, here we go, in 1...


2...



3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 

Dwarves: Blood, Guts & Pussy

1990

Sub Pop Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Back Seat Of My Car  2.  Detention Girl  3. Let's Fuck  4. Drug Store  5. Skin Poppin' Slut  6. Fuck You Up And Get High  7. Insect Whore  8. Flesh Tantrum  9. SFVD  10.
What Hit You  11. Gash Wagon



Hey! I'm full of blood! Hey! I have a gut! Hey! I'm a pussy! This record must be a concept album about me mE ME!!!!

I like the little dwarf guy they always have on their covers...He never seems to age...He always looks exactly the same....This album came out in 1990 and he still often pops on their covers looking not a day older....

Or maybe it's a different dwarf...Maybe all dwarfs look the same to me...Does that make me dwarfist? Anyway, that guy's awesome...Long live the dwarf...

Oh yea, one thing I should mention before I tackle this "Blood, Guts & Pussy" album, the track listing for the CD and vinyl versions are different...They're pretty much the same, except the CD ends with  "Astro Boy" and "Motherfucker"...The vinyl version lacks those two tracks, but adds "Gash Wagon"...I wish they would have made room for "Motherfucker" but"Gash Wagon" is pretty great too...Still hard to top that "Surfin' Bird" section on "Motherfucker"...

If I had to describe the music (which I guess I have to, since I bothered to put up a blog post about it), I'd say it's essentially full-tilt hardcore coated with a layer of very scuzzy rock n' roll...The guitars are about an inch away from your face and the vocals are kinda in the Stiv Bators/Iggy Pop or a really horny and feral Joey Ramone (Although, I sorta think Blag is distinctive enough to be his own category at this point...There's a sort of sandblasted leering that's pin pointedly Blag when you hear other artists attempt it)...As far as lyrical content and generally grimy ambiance goes, you'd probably have to turn to GG Allin for anything more truly antisocial, but performance-wise it's very polished and well-played...The songs are all clear, catchy, and concise (very concise, considering the album's 14 minute running time)...

And the album just fucking rules the universe..How can it not? The premise is sound, it's always delivered at full speed  and if there is a bad song (and there isn't) it wouldn't stick around long enough for you to notice. Plus here's a very representative sampling of the lyrics being spit out on the mic:

"I am the best fucking fuck in the whole fuckin world,
Dog eat dog, boy eat girl,
I'm the duke of fuckin earl..."

or this lyrical chestnut:

"Give me AIDS, fuck me,
I just wanna get laid,
Give me AIDS, yeah yeah

There's bite marks on my dick,
I've got AIDS and aches and pains,
Shooting up drugs is the life for me,
I've got my HIV..."

So yea, probably not the album to put on for Grandma's 85th birthday party but man, for a quick fix of adrenaline it can't be beat...This is shit will liven up your own Friday night record party for sure...And the album's influence on band's like the Nobody's is incalculable...Great fun...Maybe just be aware you're probably going to paying full-length price for an EP running length but ultimately how can you put a price on the potent entertainment housed in the grooves of a fucking Dwarves LP? And tell me the cover alone isn't worth the measly bucks...

Here's "SFVD" by the Dwarves...Enjoy...