Dead Kennedys: Frankenchrist

Dead Kennedys: Frankenchrist

1985

Alternative Tentacles Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Soup Is Good Food  2. Hellnation  3. This Could Be Anywhere (This Could Be Everywhere)  4. A Growing Boy Needs His Lunch  5. Chicken Farm  6. Jock-O-Rama (Invasion of the Beef Patrol)  7. Goons of Hazzard  8. M.T.V. - Get off the Air  9. At My Job  10. Stars and Stripes of Corruption


The infamous "Frankenchrist" album...Believe it or not, it wasn't the "offensive" title that got them in trouble (although I'm sure it didn't help), but a poster insert by the highly respected artist H.R Giger (who just very recently passed away)...

Unfortunately, my copy is one of the later pressings and didn't come with the banned "Penis Landscape" poster...Here are some TV show appearances from the time period to give it a bit more context...Like this appearance on Oprah, back when Oprah's show was pretty bad-ass...As a kid, I remember seeing a lot more arguments on there and a lot less Nicholas Sparks..

...and here's a news thingy that's pretty insane...Hard to believe there was a time you could end up in court for a making a record...The good old days, indeed!

The odd thing about it is, I can't think of many records that would have lyrics more useful to children than "Frankenchrist"! "Soup is Good Food" prepares you for the outside world more realistically than any graduation commencement speech I've ever heard and his take-down of the whole high school athletics culture on "Jock-O-Rama (Invasion of the Beef Patrol)" is monumental...

Here's the lyrics for reference:

"You really like gorillas?
We've got just the pet for you
It's the way you're forced to act
To survive our schools

Make your whole life revolve around sports
Walk tough-don't act too smart
Be a mean machine
Then we'll let you get ahead

Jock-O-Rama-Save my soul
We're under the thumb of the Beef Patrol
The future of America is in their hands
Watch it roll over Niagara Falls
Pep rally in the holy temple
And you're forced to go
Masturbate en masse
With the favored religious cult
Cheerleaders yell-"Ra Ra Team"
From the locker room parades the prime beef
When archaeologists dig this up
They'll either laugh or cry

Jock-O-Rama-On the brain
Redneck-a-thon drivin' me insane
The future of America is in their hands
Watch it roll over Niagara Falls
Unzip that old time religion
On the almighty football field
Beerbellies of all ages
Come to watch the gladiators bleed
"Now boys, this game ain't played for fun
You're going out there to win
How d'ya win?
Get out there
And snap the other guy's knee!"

Beat 'em up! Beat 'em up!
Ra Ra Ra
Snap those spinal cords
Ha Ha Ha

The star quarterback lies injured
Unconscious on the football field
Looks like his neck's been broken
Seems to happen somewhere every year

His mom and dad clutch themselves and cry
Their favorite son will never walk again
Coach says, "That boy gave a hundred percent
What spirit
What a man"

But who cares?
Games over-Let's go get wasted man
To the 7-11, to the liquor store
Let's party all night and party some more

Another Trans-Am
Wrapped itself around a telephone pole
"I ain't drunk, officer
I just fell gettin' out of my car"

Don't worry about it, son
We were that way when we were young
You've got all the skills
To make a damn good businessman

Jock-O-Rama-that's the law
Come lick the butts of the Beef Patrol
If the future of America is handed to them
Watch it roll over Niagara Fall"

That's what's so shaky about labeling art as harmful or pornographic...To the people who put Jello on trial, this was unspeakably profane stuff, on the other hand,  I think everybody should hear these lyrics...I also happen to think that the most controversial track, "Stars and Stripes of Corruption," is a pretty powerful piece of political criticism for being "just a punk rock song."  Is some of the language shocking? Sure, but not more shocking than a lot of the mean-spirited jive that I see passing as politics these days...

"Tell me who's the real patriots
The Archie Bunker slobs waving flags?
Or the people with the guts to work
For some real change
Rednecks and bombs don't make us strong
We loot the world, yet we can't even feed ourselves
Our real test of strength is caring
Not the toys of war we sell the world
Just carry on, thankful to be farmed like worms
Old glory for a blanket
As you suck on your thumbs

Real freedom scares you
'Cos it means responsibility
So you chicken out and threaten me
Saying, "Love it or leave it"
I'll get beat up if I criticize it
You say you'll fight to the death
To save your worthless flag
If you want a banana republic that bad
Why don't you go move to one?...

I'm thankful I live in a place
Where I can say the things I do
Without being taken out and shot
So I'm on guard against the goons
Trying to take my rights away
We've got to rise above the need for cops and laws
Let kids learn communication
Instead of schools pushing competition
How about more art and theater instead of sports?"

 Believe it or not, that's just a small excerpt of the lyrics, the song runs along for about 6 and a half minutes at punk speed, so it's pretty text-heavy stuff...You really get maximum enjoyment from this album if you're sitting down, lyric sheet in hand...Not that the music isn't spectacular to listen to...

This has become one of my favorite DK albums, because they try so much different stuff...The hardcore speed is toned down in favor of more mid-tempo psychedelic/hard-rock...Really, the only track I'd call straight hardcore would be "Hellnation." Instead they opt for unexpected touches, like the triumphant trumpet fanfare in the middle of "M.T.V. - Get off the Air" and the synth-heavy industrial rock of  "At My Job." I also love the way that "Jock-O-Rama" is sequenced right next to "Goons of Hazzard," so we get to see what becomes of meat-heads when they grow up...

But all the weirdness suits the band perfectly...I think they hit their peak here, musically and lyrically...It's too bad there's such an aura of negativity surrounding this album...In my mind, despite the sometimes ugly bluntness of its delivery, it's a very positive message with a healthy sense of humor...It never comes across as a mere catalog of the world's ills like most punk albums...He actually offers up some answers, and although you can argue whether or not they're the right answers, at least it's something other than the usual "roll over and die"...

"It's the only world we've got
Let's protect it while we can
That's all there is and there ain't no more..."

 Here's "Stars and Stripes of Corruption" by Dead Kennedys...Enjoy...