Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Ice Cream For Crow

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Ice Cream For Crow

1982

EMI Records

Format I Own it on: Compact Disc

Track Listing: 1. Ice Cream for Crow  2. The Host the Ghost the Most Holy-O  3. Semi-Multicoloured Caucasian  4. Hey Garland, I Dig Your Tweed Coat  5. Evening Bell  6. Evening Bell  7.Cardboard Cutout Sundown  8. The Past Sure Is Tense  9. The Witch Doctor Life  10. 81 Poop Hatch  11. The Thousandth and Tenth Day of the Human Totem Pole  12. Skeleton Makes Good  13. Light Reflected Off the Oceands of the Moon


 This and "Unconditionally Guaranteed" are the only Captain Beefheart albums I don't own on vinyl...I've looked and looked for a vinyl copy of "Ice Cream for Crow" and just can't get my hands on one (On the other hand, I see "Unconditionally Guaranteed" on vinyl all the time and simply wonder if I'm ready to subject myself to more soft rock-era Beefheart)... I finally relented about a year ago and just ordered a CD copy of "Ice Cream for Crow" from Amazon, which to me is admitting defeat...A lot of the fun of record collecting is in the hunt,  But I couldn't help it this time. I needed more Beefheart...

This is  the band's final album before Vliet abandoned music for the fine arts and I can't overstate what a loss that was to the music world this was...He was irreplaceable in every sense of the word. There will never ever be another Captain Beefheart. I guess we can take some solace in the band going out at the top of their game...This album is a dang hoot! There's such a sense of wooly fun on display here...It almost feels like he was on the cusp of breaking through in some way...I could picture him as some (very) cranky elder-statesmen to a whole new generation of 80's college rock kids eager to take his abuse...I'm having a hard time thinking of other 60's rockers who were still this far ahead of the curve in the 80's...It's hard to believe this was released the same year that Zappa put out "Valley Girl." Holy fuck. It just shows how timeless you can sound when you pay zero attention to the outside world (let alone current musical trends).

Originally, this was supposed to be a side of new material and a side of  "Bat Chain Puller" tracks, but Zappa was unwilling to give back the tapes...So Zappa's stinginess turned out to be a generous gift, since we get a full album of new music instead of an EP's worth of old stuff that was already  available on bootleg...There is a re-recording of  " The Thousandth and Tenth Day of the Human Totem Pole" and he straight up just uses the exact recording of "Poop Hatch" from "Bat Chain Puller" (re-titled "81 Poop Hatch") but outside of that it's all shiny new stuff...

 By this point Beefheart was taking on a more "spoken word over fractured accompaniment" approach...The blues and soul vocals are mostly gone but as someone who has a very low tolerance for spoken word albums, I can assure you that this is nothing but wall-to-wall entertainment (minus "Poop Hatch" which still kinda sucks). The delivery and lyrics are so damn inventive and hilarious that I really didn't realize that he's barely singing them until I was putting my thoughts together for this post...It also helps that the band is so talented at making impossible rhythms sound natural and effortless...Again, it wasn't until I listened to the album analytically that I started wondering, "How in the hell did they play this stuff?" There's a handful of really nice instrumentals here that showcase the band and they're more fleshed out than the usual spindly guitar-based instrumentals that were always a fixture on Beefheart albums...

The CD has one bonus track entitled "Light Reflected Off the Oceands of the Moon" which is also an instrumental. It's vital only if you're a huge fan of squonkalidoink...The Captain's approach to the saxophone, while on the surface resembles free jazz, is really just a bunch of random noise...If there's even a shred of rhyme or reason to it, I can't find it...But don't discount the sheer joy in hearing some guy go crazy on some instrument with utter disregard for notes, scales and rules just because he enjoys doing it.

Really, all you need to know about this album is this: There is no song that sounds better when you're drunk on a Friday night than the title track..Bluesy, slippery, fun, I wish the song (and Friday night) could go on forever...I'm serious, next time your about 6 or 7 beers in and it's about 1 am,  put this song on...You'll be so busy tappin' yer big fat toe that you'll forget the work week even existed...When that glorious slide guitar twinkles during the, I dunno, let's call it a chorus, all is right with the world...It's literally impossible not to smile when this song is playing...

So here's the plan...Let's polish off this six-pack really quick...

All right, now let's crank up some "Ice Cream for Crow"...Happy Friday everyone! Cheers!

Captain Beefheart: Bat Chain Puller

Captain Beefheart: Bat Chain Puller

I don't know the year this bootleg was released. I know the material on it was recorded in 1976

Moral & Main Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Bat Chain Puller  2. Seam Crooked Sam  3. Harry Irene  4. Poop Hatch  5. Flavor Bud Living  6. Brickbats  7. Floppy Boot Stomp  8. A Carrot Is As Close As A Rabbit Gets To Ah Diamond  9. Owed T' Alex  10. Odd Jobs  11. The 1010th Day Of The Human Totem Pole  12. Apes-Ma


Not to be confused with the band's 1978 album "Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller)" (which I covered here: http://fridaynightrecordparty.blogspot.com/2014/02/captain-beefheart-and-magic-band-shiny.html ). This is a bootleg of Captain Beefheart's famously unreleased 1976 album. I think Beefheart intended to release it but there was some dispute with Frank Zappa who was upset that Beefheart interrupted his rehearsal or some petty shit...Man, if you find extreme pettiness as entertaining as I do, you should read up on the relationship between Beefheart and his childhood friend Frank Zappa sometimes). 

I think the Zappa estate did finally release this album recently (which quickly went out of print), but I don't have that version...I have the bootleg version pictured above, which has a silk-screened image on the most unpleasantly textured cardboard known to man...Whenever I touch it, it sucks 85% of the moisture out of my body...Bootleg production values aside, the album itself sounds amazing. I was expecting...I dunno...bootleg sound? But this is total pro. If it came in a glossy cover I wouldn't question it for a moment...

I can't convey to you how much an improvement over "Bluejeans and Moonbeams" this is...I can't even comprehend how the same person made both albums...and in such a short amount of time. I'm serious, put on the song "Bluejeans and Moonbeams" (the final song on the last album) and then play "Bat Chain Puller" (the first song from this album) and watch your head explode. The title track is a perfect encapsulation of Beefheart's career up to this point (minus two icky albums)...It's bluesy, yet tied into avant-garde knots (ala "Trout Mask") and accessible in the "Spotlight Kid"/"Clear Spot" manner, which would be the formula that would define the remainder of Beefheart's music career.  In fact, he would re-record 10 of these tracks and use them over the course of his following three albums ("Shiny Beast," "Doc at the Radar Station" and "Ice Cream for Crow" which I'd argue form the most consistent stretch of albums the band would release). 

Sure, it's not all perfect...I still think the music-hall pastiche "Harry Irene" is below Beefheart (to be honest, it probably would have fit right in on the previous two albums) and the two acapella spoken word tracks ("Poop Hatch" and "Apes-Ma") are pretty worthless, but the rest is gold...Sure, if you're a Beefheart fan you already have most of these songs, but these are completely different (and sometimes superior version). Drier...More direct. This particular version of the song "Bat Chain Puller" is in the running for my personal favorite Beefheart track...

 
The two songs they never re-recorded are good too! I honestly have zero idea why "Seam Crooked Sam" was never used. It's one of those "Ice Cream For Crow" type tracks where the Captain delivers surreal poetry ("Dora robbed a baby through a dark bebop, Licorice lenses fogged in hot sorrow...") over a jagged, tumbling backing..."Odd Jobs" follows roughly the same format except the spoken word unexpectedly turns into a lightweight melody for punctuation... 

This really was one of the great unreleased albums...Glad somebody finally released it. Sad it went out of print again...Happy I found a bootleg...I know this thing has seen many an unofficial release, so I can't speak for all the various versions out there, but I can tell you the silk-screened one with the rough cardboard cover is a solid buy...

So let's listen to some Beefy...Here's  "Brickbats"...Hope you like squonky horns...

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Bluejeans & Moonbeams

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Bluejeans & Moonbeams

1974

Virgin Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Party of Special Things to Do  2.Same Old Blues  3. Observatory Crest  4. Pompadour Swamp  5. Captain's Holiday  6. Rock 'n Roll's Evil Doll  7.  Further Than We've Gone  8. Twist ah Luck  9. Bluejeans & Moonbeams


Oh, man, what happened? Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band were on such a roll, culminating in a career highlight in the highly-accessible  "Clear Spot,." But when that album flopped commercially, Beefheart decided to take the sell-out even further. In a failed attempt to convince us that he was the Captain in "Captain & Tennille" with the fairly awful "Unconditionally Guaranteed" (which I don't' own, but I listened to it online and can confirm it is pretty damn uninspiring).  "Bluejeans and Moonbeams" is the second album in that unfortunate "Tragic Band" series....

I knew of "Bluejeans..." bad reputation but I found a pristine UK Virgin Records pressing and something about that stunning album cover just made me buy it...I couldn't resist its pull...Now, at this point I hadn't heard the album, so I didn't 100% know what to expect...I knew it was considered a low-point, but I can't tell you how many times I've listened to a band's alleged "worst album" and ended up loving it...So I try not to judge an album until I get the chance to wrap my judging ears around it...

And when I first started up the album, things sure sounded promising! The first thing you hear is the Captain dryly intone, "The camel wore a nightie..." Well, alright! I can get behind that! Unfortunately that one acapella line is probably the highpoint of the album. I mean, "Party of Special Things to Do" (the song the line is attached to) isn't bad...It's a perfectly serviceable white-blues track,  but it seems awfully bland...And it turns out it's one of the best songs on the album!

'Same Old Blues" is where it struck me what a slump the band was in...A J.J. Cale cover? Isn't that Eric Clapton's job? Remember those reams of brilliant lyrics and gritty, skewed rhythms that made Captain Beefheart great? Bleh, none of that here...Y'know, I might still take this over a Clapton album from the same era. If only because Beefheart was still a much better singer  (even in his zombified form) but that's probably not saying much, since I'd probably prefer a day at the DMV to a mid-70's Clapton album...

I go back and forth on the merits of "Observatory Crest." The stiff melody and sentiment is definitely entertaining, but I'm also simultaneously annoyed by it...This might be the only place on the album where the novelty of Captain Beefheart going yacht-rock lives up to its "entertaining train-wreck" promise...I guess this album is notable for containing the single worst song in the band's discography with "Captain's Holiday." I honestly think 6 minutes of silence would have been the more entertaining option...It's just some soulful back-up singers cooing, "Oooo, Captain, Captain!" over the most unforgettable instrumental possible...Why, oh why?

The only song on here that I truly love is "Twist ah Luck" which shows that the path to AM radio didn't need to be such a hard road...An up-tempo funk boogie that momentarily turns my opinion of the album around for the few minutes that it's on...But then the title track comes on next with the cheesiest synthesizer fanfare possible and suddenly I remember to puke again...Every so often I'll run across some reviewer online trying to redeem this album, but it's a total lost cause...There are many  albums much more worthy of redemption than this...Still, it kills me to say anything bad about Captain Beefheart. He gave us some of the best music ever made...Let's just bury this one and we'll pretend it never happened, eh?

I do find it odd that out of all the notoriously "difficult" albums Captain Beefheart has made, this easy-listening bid for mainstream acceptance is the hardest for me to listen to...If "Trout Mask Replica" can be brain-bending in places at least it engages the brain...This just has a way of drifting through one ear and out the other without touching any gray matter...Ultimately, I think this album would have made an excellent 12" single..."Twist ah Luck" backed with "Party of Special Things to Do" (ah, what the hell, throw in a flexi with "Observatory Crest" on it).  I say 12" single cos I love the album cover so damn much and would hate to see it shrunk down...

It's Friday, right? No? Only Thursday night? Ah, close enough...Let's crack open a beer...Howzabout one of those delicious-ass Shock Top Pretzel Beers?

What?! The don't make them anymore? Major boner-killer...Ah, well...At least they don't have the Honey Bourbon ones that taste like Honey Halls Mentho-Lyptus...

Ah, well, Spiced Banana it is! Happy Friday everybody! We made it through another week! Toast!

 Here's "Twist ah Luck" by Captain Beeheart"...Enjoy...

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Clear Spot

 Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Clear Spot

1972

Reprise Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Low Yo Yo Stuff  2. Nowadays a Woman's Gotta Hit a Man  3. Too Much Time  4. Circumstances  5. My Head Is My Only House Unless It Rains  6. Sun Zoom Spark  7. Clear Spot  8. Crazy Little Thing  9. Long Neck Bottles  10. Her Eyes Are a Blue Million Miles  11. Big Eyed Beans from Venus  12. Golden Birdies



I hear that this record originally had a clear cover for the first pressing...My version is just the usual white cover with Captain Beefheart wearing a Raiden hat...

But when I cracked open my used copy, the previous owner left something freakin' awesome in there for me...

An old Rolling Stone article about Captain Beefheart entitled, "Where's the Captain?"  I scanned it in so you guys could see it, but my scanner is about 6 inches big, so it couldn't quite fit the full page (these pages are from the days when Rolling Stone was a tabloid-sized publication), but that didn't prevent me from scanning it anyway...

 The first page is a beautiful photo of Beefheart, his mustache resplendent in the desert breeze...They always had great photos in these old RS magazines...If you ever see an old 70's-mid 80's issue lying around, crack one open and look at how nice they used to look...They're kinda eye-splitting now...If they do happen to photograph a real musician these days, they usually do the whole  "ultra-close black and white photo meant to accentuate what big wrinkle-bags old musicians are" thing...

 

On  the following page we have a picture of a model named Nahanni Johnstone from Dallas, Texas...I'm not sure what she's selling...There's some vague text at the bottom that informs us that she's "Spiritually aware and always trying new things..." Oh, wait...I just noticed the button on her jacket says "Esprit"...I think they might manufacture clothes or something...I wouldn't know, I don't wear clothes...I just sit naked in front of a computer all day...

Here's a page of text that's probably impossible for you to read, thanks to my shitty printer...Beefheart talks about how much he hates Charlton Heston, whom he predicts will be the next President of the United States...The Captain also discusses his usual subjects like the plight of animals and the superiority of women to men...He also talks about how much he likes Eric Feldman as a person, which I remember reading a lot about in the Captain Beefheart book that Klae bought me...

Next, there's one of his paintings entitled "Bromboline Frenzy." This article is from 1987 or somewhere around that time frame, so at this point Beefheart had long abandoned music for painting...

Another page of text accompanied by a photo of Ted "Theodore" Logan drinking Amaretto...Sometimes I drink Amaretto mixed with Scotch...Yum! This page gives us some insight into some of the things Captain Beefheart enjoys. A partial list includes: Cats, cotton pajamas, tailored suits, La Phraogue single-malt whiskey, red enamel thumbtacks, that old Cootie game, and the smell of Fungus/and or Loam....I don't know what "La Phraogue" whiskey is... They could possibly mean Laphroaig scotch...But I don't know...I can only afford "Winner's Cup"...

 Another nice picture...The big quote about seeing the universe inside a Hamilton Beach Mixer is eye-catching...

Alright, enough about the miscellanea floating around inside the sleeve, let's talk about the record itself...It rules! Beefheart at his most accessible and...gulp...best! After listening to this back to back with "The Spotlight Kid," I've gotta say this is far superior...Much catchier,  exuberant and lively...They snagged big-shot producer Ted Templemen who is famous for his work with Van Halen, the Doobie Brothers, Van Morrison, Little Feat and about a billion other million-sellers. The sound is incredible...Much thicker, clearer and muscular than the majority of Beefheart albums. And Don brought his A-Game in the songwriting Department..." Low Yo Yo Stuff" just comes right out and flattens you with its funky, bluesy swagger. And "Circumstances" might just be the hardest the band ever rocked...Contrast this with the lumbering heaviosity on "The Spotlight Kid." This is much more nimble...Real souped-up muscle-car shit...

Best of all though is the Stax-Style soul influence that pops up on songs like "Too Much Time" and "My Head Is My Only House Unless It Rains"...After his recent run of  far-out, cerebral albums it became easy to lose sight at what a great straight-soul singer he was on some of those earlier records. And the band plays this stuff beautifully...That guitar line on "My Head..." just makes you want to melt...Oh, and "Too Much Time" has what is possibly my favorite Beefheart line:

Sometimes when it’s late and I’m a little bit hungry

 I heat up some old stale beans, open up a can of sardines, 

eat crackers and dream of somebody to cook for me..."

 

 And somehow he imbues that line with a considerable amount of poignancy...Really every single lyric on here is pure gold...So much vivid imagery: Whether he's singing about "Sleepin’ in a bayou on a old rotten cot..." on the title track or when he's commanding Zoot Horn Rollo to "Hit that long lunar note and let it float..." there's just so much here to take in...

This gets my highest possible recommendation...Just go out and find a copy at any cost...It's the odd Captain Beefheart album that I think anybody would enjoy...If you'e into blues, classic rock, southern rock, funk, alternative, soul, punk or totally oddball shit then you'll find something to like here...I curse all those years I walked around Earth not knowing "Long Neck Bottles" or "Big Eyed Beans From Venus"...What a hollow, empty shell of a man I was!

Here's "Long Neck Bottles" by Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band...Enjoy...

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: The Spotlight Kid

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: The Spotlight Kid

1972

Reprise Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1.  I'm Gonna Booglarize You Baby  2. White Jam  3. Blabber 'n Smoke  4. When It Blows Its Stacks  5. Alice in Blunderland  6. The Spotlight Kid  7. Click Clack  8. Grow Fins  9. There Ain't No Santa Claus on the Evenin' Stage  10. Glider


In the three years I've been doing this blog, I've been slowly acquiring random Captain Beefheart albums in no particular chronological order. As a result, my Beefheart posts are so all-over-the-place... If you're not familiar with his discography it might be hard to tell where all this stuff falls into place but his career is broke up into very distinct eras...

"Spotlight Kid" was the follow-up to the two notoriously difficult, spattery albums ("Trout Mask Replica" and "Lick my Decals Off, Baby") on which the band's legend was built upon. While their inventiveness built Captain Beefheart a dedicated cult following, he decided he was sick of obscurity and made an accessible album that would sound great on FM radio circa 1972 (and maybe rake in a few bucks while he was at it)....And how did he accomplish this?

He bought a spiffy suit and wrote some un-spattery blues rock songs. Sure, song titles like "There Ain't No Santa Claus on the Evenin' Stage" may raise flags now, but this wasn't too far removed  from an era where a song called  "I Am the Walrus" could top the charts...And these slow, heavy blues tracks sound great...And while the Captain's vocals are still a bit idiosyncratic, there's no denying how powerful he sounds here...If the lyrics are oblique, the soul is there...All in all, I think if someone could handle, say...the White Stripes, the "Spotlight Kid" album wouldn't seem too startling (although the extra-chunky marimba might raise a few eyebrows...And maybe those guttural "Ho Ho Ho Ho's" on "There Ain't No Santa Claus..." might be a bit much for some folks). But I greatly admire the way they made a more accessible record without losing their unique identity.

It's also notable that the album is credited to Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band, rather than the usual His Magic Band...Was he loosening his grip?  Nah, I'm guessing it was another move towards mainstream acceptance. The "His" sounded like you might be getting into some weird, arty thing...Inept Radio Programmers introducing the band would probably screw it up and say "The Magic Band" anyway, so might as well beat 'em to the punch...

There's a few all-time classics here...Including the spare, mysterious, deep-swamp blues, 'Grow Fins.". I'm not someone who normally falls head-over-heels in love with electric blues rock, however I so get it when I hear this...Suddenly, those countless bland hours spent listening to the mind-numbing string-bending of Eric Clapton melt away with every thrust and howl of the Magic Band...I also love "When It Blows Its Stacks"" which has a stomping, distorted riff  that wouldn't sound out of place on an early Black Sabbath album...

Honestly, even though "Trout Mask Replica" is the Beefheart album that is always singled out, I would probably point newcomers to the one-two punch of "The Spotlight Kid" and the follow-up album "Clear Spot" (which we'll get to in a day or so) as the obvious entry points. Then move onto the run of albums from "Shiny Beat" through "Ice Cream For Crow"... After that you're ready for everything else in the discography (outside of "Unconditionally Guaranteed" and "Bluejeans & Moonbeams" which you'll probably want to skip altogether!! But we'll get to that in a few days)...

So let's listen to "Grow Fins"...Sounds good to me...Enjoy...

Captain Beefhart & His Magic Band: Mirror Man

Captain Beefhart: Mirror Man

1971

Buddah Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Tarotplane  2. Kandy Korn  3. 25th Century Quaker  4. Mirror Man


Oh yea, I think I neglected to mention this last time, but "Strictly Personal" started out as a double-album called "It Comes to You in a Plain Brown Wrapper" (explaining the cover showing a  parcel in a plain brown wrapper) consisting of the usual 3-5 minute songs interspersed with some epic 8-20 minute jams... The album was scrapped for whatever reason (I'm sure I read the reason in the Beefheart biography, but I can't remember off the top of my head...) and some of the shorties were re-recorded and released as the single-album "Strictly Personal."

Some years later, Buddha got around to issuing those 20 minute jams as another single album called "Mirror Man" (I'm sure the phrase, "I don't hear a single" was tossed around)...If you listen to Captain Beefheart for his stream-of-conscience poetry, this might not be the album for you...At a mere four (albeit very long) tracks, a goodly chunk of it consists of long-form instrumental jamming with the Captain singing maybe only a verse or two or punctuating the song with a repeated phrase...

I don't know, I often find myself engaged and listening attentively to some of the material.."Tarotplane" is just plain awesome...My ears could wander that soundscape forever and I wouldn't regret at minute...Same goes for the title track, where Beefheart exclaims, "Mirror Man! Mirror me!" a thousand different ways...Most memorably with his microphone switching off and on rapidly....The band's strut is especially rubbery here...

 On the other hand, I often zone out during "Kandy Korn" and "25th Century Quaker"...I'm engaged while the vocals are there, but I often find my mind wandering during some of the extended playing...Every so often an especially transcendent moment (like when "Kandy Korn" gets all majestic at around the seven minute mark) will momentarily snap me back to attention and make me go, "Wow"...I don't know...Maybe I don't have the proper attention span for this, but it's hard to imagine many people who would tolerate this more than I would...

Not that I see a big problem with an album that just kind of dances around in the background...It certainly doesn't annoy or bother me...Quite the opposite. After a six pack, I'm deeply digging the groove, foot tapping constantly..Those two tracks don't implant themselves in my permanent memory like "Tarotplane" or "Mirror Man" do...Oh, well...

I would definitely recommend this to any Beefheart fan who already has a few of the group's
albums under their belt... It's that prime Beefheart majorly-askew-electric-blues sound that becomes addictive once you've acclimated yourself to it...And fans who are drawn more to the instrumental side of the Magic Band will flip their lids over this...It's a good place to hear the band stretch out, untethered by any narrative but their own...But if you're new to Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band, I'd  recommend some of their more succinct stuff...

Oh yea, this was later re-released on Compact Disc as "The Mirror Man Sessions" which gathers up more tracks from the unreleased "It Comes to You in a Plain Brown Wrapper" sessions...I don't have a copy of that release at this time, so I can't comment on the quality of it...Hopefully, I can locate a copy soon...

Here's "Tarotplane" by Captain Beefheart...Better grab a couple of extra beers...This is a long 'un...Enjoy...

Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band: Strictly Personal

Captain Beefheart: Strictly Personal

1968

Blue Thumb Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Ah Feel Like Ahcid  2. Safe As Milk  3. Trust Us  4. Son of Mirror Man - Mere Man  5. On Tomorrow  6. Beatle Bones 'n' Smokin' Stones  7. Gimme Dat Harp Boy  8. Kandy Korn


I searched for a copy of this album forever...Eastside Records had a copy in once before but I got there a bit too late to claim it...The second time was the charm though...

 Some people have told me that the greatest day of their life was the birth of their child...

 Others claim that reaching the summit of Mount Everest as their crowning achievement...

Me? My greatest achievement was the morning I managed to drag my fat hog out of bed early enough to snag a copy of Captain's Beefheart often maligned second album before somebody else bought it...

Waitaminute...Often maligned? Why's that? Well, Captain Beefheart himself hated this album...So we, as his loyal followers must hate it too, right? I have to disagree...Remember, historically speaking, Captain Beeheart appeared to hate everything...Except Abba Zabba's...And whales...And long telephone calls...And Pepsi..And painting...But outside of those few items, he seemed to hate everything..

Sure, it's not the best Captain Beefheart album I've ever heard ("Doc at the Radar Station" or "Lick My Decals Off, Baby") but it's nowhere near the worst (we'll get to those in a few days)...I'd call it squarely middle-of-the-road Beefheart, if it wasn't such a pivotal moment in his discography...If I had only heard his first album,  I would have probably viewed Beefheart as an ordinary, everyday guy who got weird to amuse himself and/or push buttons (see: Frank Zappa)...I'd probably arrive at this conclusion based on the fact that it was largely a straight blues-rock album with a few wig-out moments...In retrospect, when I hear it, I think what I'm hearing is a very weird guy keeping it together long enough to make a straight album made but momentarily lapsing here and there...I think "Strictly Personal" is the moment where it sinks in that he was a deeply different motherfucker....

(the usual cover...I don't know why my copy has a different cover...)

And the change is immediately apparent on the first track, "Ah Feel Like Ahcid"...The Captain, in full-blown, bonk-ola, accapella, Wolfman Jack/Bluesman voice roars and mumbles reams of evocative blather about fried chicken legs and groovy postmen...Van Vliet would always try and mess with us, claiming this song wasn't about acid...Somehow the words "ahcid" and the endless talk about lickin' stamps is just a coincidence and proof that our minds are in the gutter...Riiiight...Anyway, great, lowdown blues...

And next up we have the title track to the last album?  Guess it's a "Houses of the Holy" type of deal...On paper, it's the type of music you'd find on "Safe As Milk"...Crusty blues rock, but the execution is altogether different...More skeletal and spindly...Spidery guitar figures zig-zaggin' all over the rubbery rhythm section..Still, it scans as "electric blues"...Just a distinctive, mutated strain of it, is all..

It's at the end of this song that we get our first glimpse of the "phasing" effect that drove Van Vliet so crazy...It appears here and there throughout the album, but I honestly don't think I would have especially noticed it if Captain Beefheart himself didn't draw so much attention to it over the years...But I can understand that...Anyone who's ever recorded music has encountered the moment during playback, when they can hear a fatal flaw that nobody else can seem to hear...I'm telling you, it's easy to get obsessed with such things, which I'd imagine was the case here...I personally love the way the technique is employed during the spooky raga "Trust Us"...Still, I guess I can picture Captain Beefheart being appalled at his inspired performance at the end of "Son of Mirror Man" being sucked into the vacuum cleaner...

Oh, yea...One super classic moment is "Beatle Bones 'n' Smokin' Stones" which takes the living piss out of Sgt Pepper's-era Beatles...It was enough to get John Lennon (who was previously a booster of Captain Beefheart)  all torqued off...I know it probably wasn't very nice to mercilessly butcher "Strawberry Fields Forever" but I have to admit, it's kinda worth is just to hear Beefheart shout, "Strawberry Caterpillars!" in his dopiest, flakiest voice...Holy shit, it that part funny...

In the end I'd rate this far above "Safe As Milk"...They both tend to get lumped into the same pre-"Trout Mask Replica" early-Beefheart category, but this album is so much more interesting and innovative than that...I can only guess how mind-bending this shit was back in '68...Sure, "Trout Mask" would take it much, much further but perhaps at the cost of the breezy listenablity of "Strictly Personal...(I will admit to clocking out on the album about 1/3rd of the way through "Kandy Korn" though...But in the end I always stick around for that extra little piece of "Ah Feel Like Ahcid ")...

Here's "Safe As Milk" by Captain Beefheart...Enjoy...

Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band:The Legendary A&M Sessions

Captain Beefheart:The Legendary A&M Sessions

1984

A&M Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Diddy Wah Diddy  2. Who Do You Think You're Fooling?  3. Moonchild  4. Frying Pan   5. Here I Am I Always Am



This is a1984  EP containing Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band's first two singles (both originally released in 1966) and an outtake. This is squarely mid 60's garage blues rock...Even more straightforward than "Safe As Milk." Here's what you get:

The "Diddy Wah Diddy/Who Do You Think You're Fooling?" single..."Diddy Wah Diddy" is a Bo Diddley cover...The kind of song you'd hear on a Nuggets compilation...Stomping, over-driven blues rock...Very stomping actually...The B-Side, "Who Do You Think You're Fooling?" is lighter R&B. Would sound okay on an early Stones album...

Next up is the "Moonchild/Frying Pan" single...With its ominous gong, echo-y vocals and out of sync harmonicas, "Moonchild" is the only song that hints at the weirdness of the Captain's subsequent albums. Maybe not "Trout Mask Replica" weird, but as about as far-out as "Safe As Milk"'s more avant-garde moments...It's almost impossible to fathom how young Beefheart was here...He sounds exactly the same as he did in his 40's...Like a crusty old man who smoked too many cigarettes... "Frying Pan" is teenage garage-band R&B, that sounds kinda ordinary coming directly after the other-worldly "Moonchild"...A groovy song nonetheless...

The fifth track, "Here I Am I Always Am"was an outtake that didn't appear on any release prior to this EP...Again, garage R&B, but the time signatures are starting to get a little erratic and jerky, which is always a hallmark of prime Beefheart...

 Ultimately, I think this might be a record that would appeal more to oldies fans than the wonkies who are normally follow Beefheart...Very little weirdness outside of "Moonchild," this is just shakin' 60's rock that's sure to liven up any Friday Night Record Party...Before you spend too much money on it, be aware that the whole thing clocks in under 12 minutes... I might have paid 7-10 bucks for my copy...

Hey, I read somewhere that today's Friday...If that's true we better grab a beer and toss some Beefheart on the turntable...Here's "Diddy Wah Diddy"...Enjoy....

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller)/Doc at the Radar Station

Here are a couple of Captain Beefheart albums I acquired since writing the previous posts...I'm putting them both in one post for your convenience...Well, actually it's for my convenience...Here we go...




Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller)

1978

Warner Bros. Records

 Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. The Floppy Boot Stomp  2. Tropical Hot Dog Night  3. Ice Rose  4. Harry Irene  5. You Know You're a Man  6. Bat Chain Puller  7. When I See Mommy I Feel Like a Mummy  8. Owed t'Alex  9. Candle Mambo  10. Love Lies  11. Suction Prints  12. Apes-Ma


As someone who didn't know better, when I read that Captain Beefheart had made a pair of standard issue soft rock albums in the 70's I was kind of excited to hear them...The very thought of the Captain spewing his surrealist poetry over an AM radio backing sounded very promising, but the reality was quite different...There's no way about it, 1974's "Unconditionally Guaranteed"  and "Bluejeans & Moonbeams" both truly sucked when compared to what Van Vliet had released before. Luckily, he came to his senses and quickly rebounded with the fan-freakin'-tastic "Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller)."

This album's origins lie in the "lost" album simply titled "Bat Chain Puller." But the album's release was blocked by his childhood friend(?) Frank Zappa, so the band re-worked and re-recorded the album as "Shiny Beast."  Now, I've listened to the original "Bat Chain Puller" and I don't think "Shiny Beast" quite lives up to that album's more hard-edged sound, but it's hard to be too disappointed when everything here is so great.

The song "Bat Chain Puller" is definitely in the running for best Beefheart track ever..."BAAAAAA-AAAAAA-AAAAT chain puller. puller." Fluidly mangled instrumentation that sounds like a jerky locomotive chopping down the tracks, or possibly a set of malfunctioning windshield wipers. Listen to the Captain howl and rasp:

"A chain with yellow lights
That glistens like oil beads
On its slick smooth trunk
That trails behind on tracks, and thumps
A wing hangs limp and retreats...

Ripples felt fades and grey sparks clacks,
Lunging the cushioned thickets.
Pumpkins span the hills
With orange crayola patches.
Green inflated trees
Balloon up into marshmallow soot..."

So vivid you can practically smell the rich, damp countryside as the train rolls on... The instrumentation grows screwier and more intense with every tumble...Another notable stop on this fantastic voyage is "Tropical Hot Dog Night." It's  really unlike anything I've ever heard before, sort of like listening to Jimmy Buffett being turned inside out, revealing a complex network of neon innards...Or as Beefheart so succinctly puts it in the song, "Like two flamingoes in a fruit fight..." Yea, listening to this leaves the faint taste of splattered passion fruit on your taste buds...

"Ice Rose" sounds exactly like Frank Zappa for some reason.... Even though their lives and band members overlapped, I don't usually hear much in common, music-wise, between the two artists, except here...It has the same clipped and climbing xylophone that's synonymous with 70's Zappa...Is it a parody designed to piss off Frank in retaliation to the whole "Bat Chain Puller" debacle, or just coincidence? I don't really know...

The album kind of hits a bit of a lull at this point,  "Harry Irene " is basically standard English music hall, that's only worthwhile for getting to hear the band attempt standard English music hall.  "You Know You're a Man" is straightforward blues-rock that's only worth a listen for Captain Beefheart's brilliant vocal take ...

Side two, on the other hand, is pretty much all top-notch...You can practically hear Beefheart wheezing ancient dust on "When I See Mommy I Feel Like a Mummy," and "Candle Mambo" is stunning, mainly because as I listened, it suddenly clicked that a candle's flame really does mambo! And they wrote the perfect soundtrack for the dancing flame...This really ratchets up the emotion as it builds for some reason and by the song's conclusion, your stomach is somewhere in the stars..Inexplicable. 

Whenever I listen to "Love Lies" I can't help but think of a barnacle-encrusted funeral band marching zombie-like through an eternally flooded New Orleans...Captain Beefheart leading them and howling at a watery moon...Man, I really hate describing these Beefheart albums...You've really just got to experience them for yourself...You'll either be amazed at all the new, twisted shapes he's managed to wrangle from the same old rock n' roll formulas or it's going to sound like a lot of noise and you're going to want to shut it off immediately...

Either way, here's "Bat Chain Puller" by Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band...Love it or shut it off...

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Doc at the Radar Station

1980

Virgin Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Hot Head  2. Ashtray Heart  3. A Carrot is as Close as a Rabbit Gets to a Diamond  4. Run Paint Run Run  5. Sue Egypt  6. Brickbats  7. Dirty Blue Gene  8. Best Batch Yet  9. Telephone  10. Flavor Bud Living  11. Sheriff of Hong Kong  12. Making Love to a Vampire with a Monkey on My Knee


You probably don't remember, but when I was doing the other Captain Beefheart posts, I declared "Lick My Decals Off, Baby" his best album. Well, that was only because I'd never heard this one. This has become my hands-down favorite Beefheart album.

Van Vliet has often claimed to dislike the punk and new wave acts he inspired, but it's hard to believe he didn't pick up on some of that energy on this record. It seems more stripped-down, jagged and plasticky than before. As soon as you lay the needle down on side one, the angular rhythm of "Hot Head"  sends polyethylene shards shooting in all directions...Not to mention, the lyrics to "Ashtray Heart:"

"You used me like an ashtray heart,
Case of the punks,
Right from the start..."

His delivery has also picked up on an existential terror that wasn't so prominent before...Just listening to his hoarse, panicked delivery on "Telephone" is enough to inspire heart palpitations and profuse sweating. Although, to be honest, I'm usually always profusely sweating so I might not be able to pin that one on Captain Beefheart.

I have to hand it to "Making Love to a Vampire With a Monkey on my Knee." It's batshit crazy even by his normal standards. He sounds legitimate terrified and relieved as he screams,

"God, please fuck my mind for good!
Making love to a vampire with a monkey on my knee. 
Oh fuck that thing.. .fuck that poem...eyes crawl out with maggots,
White cloth bones pile up light thrown blades
Rags 'n skull.. scoops soil cracks.. .drain screams..
please take my hand 'n join me..."

But it's not all deliberate ugliness, there's a few moments of beauty, like the  serene instrumental "A Carrot is as Close as a Rabbit Gets to a Diamond," and despite the ragged distorted guitar playing, "Sue Egypt" manages a sort of natural luminescence. Huh.

So yea, this is the best Captain Beefheart album I've heard. If you're new to his music this would undoubtedly be the place I'd point you. Looking back, I'm very surprised any of us ever got to hear this. This guy was so out there that I doubt even the indiest of indie labels would sign him these days, let alone a major! Hell, he was even a musical guest on Saturday Night Live, shortly after the release of this album. I don't know how this happened.

 I can only attribute it to the fact that he emerged during the psychedelic era, where the goal (for awhile anyway) seemed to be pushing the envelope more and more each time, so I think it probably seemed logical at that point that the Captain could have conceivably found an audience. Turns out his commercial failure helped outline the boundaries of what was "acceptable" within the music business...Nowadays everything is so pre-fabricated and test-marketed, there's no way an album like "Doc at the Radar Station" could be released and especially no way they'd let such an iconoclastic figure anywhere near a television studio.  Could also be that no other artist has simply even considered pushing things as far as Van Vliet did. The pain-staking recreation of random moments is a pretty daunting task once you think about it...So there might be no modern analogue to Captain Beefheart beacuse there is no longer a Captain Beefheart.I can see that, I guess...

Anyhoo, here's "Telephone." Enjoy...

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Lick My Decals Off, Baby

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Lick My Decals Off, Baby

1970

Straight/Reprise

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Lick My Decals Off, Baby  2. Doctor Dark  3. I Love You, You Big Dummy  4. Peon  5. Bellerin' Plain  6. Woe-is-uh-Me-Bop  7. Japan in a Dishpan  8. I Wanna Find a Woman That'll Hold My Big Toe Till I Have to Go  9. Petrified Forest  10. One Red Rose That I Mean  11. The Buggy Boogie Woogie  12. The Smithsonian Institute Blues (or the Big Dig)  13. Space-Age Couple  14. The Clouds Are Full of Wine (not Whiskey or Rye)  15. Flash Gordon's Ape




 Of all the Captain Beefheart albums I own, this one is easily my favorite...Reminiscent of the spastic "Trout Mask Replica" style but the lyrics hit the mark more often and the songs are catchier...

 Look at those song titles! Just the phrase "Woe-is-uh-Me Bop" gets stuck in my head! And Captain Beefheart sounds thrilled to be here,  like he won't be stopped until every square inch of the universe is filled with white-hot poetry and donky marimba...

"Hold a drinking glass up to your eye after you've
scooped up a little of the sky,
and it ain't blue no more.
what's on the leaves ain't dew no more..."

or try this one out....

"The rug's wearing out that we walk on,
Soon it will fray and we'll drop dead into yesterday.
Must the breathing pay
for those who breathe in and don't breathe out?"

I could listen to him hiss this stuff all day...Picking out highlights is difficult on these late 60's-early 70's Captain Beefheart albums. They're best appreciated as a whole, but if forced to choose I'm going to have to go with "I Love You, You Big Dummy," which could almost pass as straight-forward electric blues but the band sounds like they're having so much fun they're about to shake out of their own skins...

I also love the title track...Particularly the "She stuck out her tongue and the fun begun" section, which I always have a tough time getting out of my brain...Same goes for the guitar-based instrumental "Peon" which escaped my notice the first few listens but now I can't help but be taken in by it...It reminds me of a quiet sunset on Saturn...

(Television ad for "Lick My Decals Off, Baby," which would probably confuse people just as much today as it did back in 1970...)

Alsotake note of "The Smithsonian Institute Blues (Or The Big Dig)" which single-handedly invented Tom Waits 80's reinvention...Captain Beefheart was so ahead of the curve that he's still around the corner...

 (A 1983 appearance by captain Beefheart on David Letterman if'n you don't have anything to do...)

Damn, I wish "Lick My Decals Off, Baby" was a double album...Oh well, nothing I can do about that except play it twice. So, let's listen to "The Smithsonian Institute Blues (Or The Big Dig)" by Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band...Hell, you better listen to it twice for good measure...

Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band: Trout Mask Replica

Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band: Trout Mask Replica

1969

Reprise/Straight Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Frownland  2. The Dust Blows Forward 'n the Dust Blows Back  3. Dachau Blues  4. Ella Guru  5. Hair Pie: Bake 1  6. Moonlight on Vermont  7. Pachuco Cadaver  8. Bills Corpse  9. Sweet Sweet Bulbs  10. Neon Meate Dream of a Octafish  11. China Pig  12. My Human Gets Me Blues  13. Dali's Car  14. Hair Pie: Bake 2  15. Pena  16. Well  17. When Big Joan Sets Up  18. Fallin' Ditch  19. Sugar 'n Spikes  20. Ant Man Bee  21. Orange Claw Hammer  22. Wild Life  23. She's Too Much for My Mirror  24. Hobo Chang Ba  25. The Blimp (mousetrapreplica)  26. Steal Softly thru Snow  27. Old Fart at Play  28. Veteran's Day Poppy


 Captain Beefheart's dance pop masterpiece! As soon as you first put the needle on the record and hear the club-ready beats on "Frownland (featuring Macklemore and Katy Perry)" the bottles of Cristal seem to pop open themselves (SWAG)!

 

BUB!!

"Neon Meate Dream of a Octafish (featuring Flo Rida, Ge Orgia, and South Da Koda)"  " beats David Guetta at his own VIP/French-House/Blogstep game..."Pop Life" indeed!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$BALLIN"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Alright, enough horsin' around...If you haunt record stores long enough, eventually a big, red double-album with a guy holding a fish up to his face is going to catch your eye...The curiosity is going to be too much to take and you're going to go home with a copy of Captain Beefheart's  1969 classic "Trout Mask Replica."

This album seems to divide people...People usually declare it a masterpiece or they declare that anyone who considers this a masterpiece is lying...That it's just a bunch of noise and nobody actually like it...

I don't know, man...I liked this as soon as I put it on...It wasn't even the usual "you need to give it 4 or 5 listens before it reveals itself to you" thing either...I can only attribute this to the fact that I spent so many of my teenage years listening to Tom Waits and the Minutemen non-stop...

Good god, Tom Waits has definitely listened to this...Give "China Pig" a spin and tell me it wouldn't sound right at home on "Frank's Wild Years" or "Bone Machine"...

 

I think I get the Minutemen from the thin guitar tone and the jagged swing of it all...The songs sound like they've been shattered into a thousand pieces and glued back together all wrong....

"Just keep comin' Jesus,
You're the best dressed,
You look dandy in the sky but you don't scare me,
Cause I got you here in my eye..."

It doesn't make literal sense, but damned if you don't feel something as you hear him wheeze and roar those lines...

Oddly enough, during the middle of Side Two you're totally used to it and suddenly it dawns on you that it's shuffling blue-rock...Just the gait is a little odd...

The acapella songs that came off as nothing more than slightly humorous on Side One suddenly become riveting by the time you get to "Well," and is it just me or are "Sugar N' Spikes" and "Ant Man Bee" real toe-tappers? Ah, who can tell anymore...

I can't convey how difficult these songs must have been to play...As each song starts it seems like the music is random for the first measure or so, but they keep playing those random sequences over and over...How do they play these flaws so flawlessly?  I don't know...For that feat alone this record deserves all the praise it has received...

I personally find this album to be a blast...I spin it often  and I recommend it for anyone who's into adventurous music...This is about as adventurous as it gets...But what do you serve your guests when you're playing"Trout Mask Replica" at your very own Friday Night Record Party? That's easy...

A cherry phosphate and...

A hair Pie!

Actually, you better Bake 2!! Unless you have a squid at your party...Then you just put him in a polyethylene bag and feed him dough...

Alright, so let's check out "Frownland" by Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band...Enjoy...