Faith No More: The Real Thing
1989
Slash Records
Format I Own it on: Compact Disc
Track Listing: 1. From Out of Nowhere 2. Epic 3. Falling to Pieces 4. Surprise! You're Dead! 5. Zombie Eaters 6. The Real Thing 7. Underwater Love 8. The Morning After 9. Woodpecker from Mars 10. War Pigs 11. Edge of the World
This was their big one. The platinum smash that launched them onto MTV and radio with the hugely successful rap-rock single "Epic." Thing is, I hated this album when it came out...
I was totally unfamiliar with the Chuck Mosley line-up so as far as I was aware this was a new band and my younger brother Pinhead fell head over heels in love with "Epic." He taped it off the radio and listened to it a gazillion times. I hated rap and I hated Mike Patton's nasally voice. Then I saw the video for "From Out of Nowhere" with hair-whipping Mike Patton in his spandex hair-metal shorts. At this time I despised hair metal (while listening to a bunch of band's that were, in retrospect, hair metal Note: I was in complete denial) and decided I hated the band even more. They were rap and hair metal?!?! Count me out!!!
Then a couple of things happened throughout 1990. For one, I saw the "From Out of Nowhere" video and was intrigued by the bloody skeletons and clownsuits. Then when I saw the December 1990 FNM Saturday Night Live performance (you know the one where Patton climbs into the fan) I was sold. The band had finally won me over....
What was it about that performance that made me such a fan? The excitement? The unpredictability? The songs? The shaved sides? I dunno. I still disliked "Epic" but "From Out of Nowhere" suddenly sounded okay when I could overlook the whiny, nasal quality of the studio cut and focus on the bizarre, bullish live vocals.
Then the Christmas of 1990, my brother received a cassette copy of "The Real Thing."
It was on one of those blue cassette tapes that made everything sound better. Even Clapton's "Unplugged" seemed appealing when it was on one of those blue tapes...
(Distinct "The Real Thing" related memory 1: Sitting around class with an older kid who was explaining to me that the cover of the album was based on someone in the band jerking off and shooting a load at the ceiling. As it dripped down and hit the ground it glinted in the sunlight inspiring the cover painting. I was skeptical of this story because you would need a T-Shirt cannon level of pressure in order to make your splooge hit the ceiling. I don't care how low your ceilings are)
Anyway, the non-"Epic" material was very appealing to me. I'm a big fan of mysteriousness in rock and this had it in spades. The lyrics had a consistently dreamy logic and the music was hazy while still being rocking and funky. And the thrasher "Surprise! You're Dead!" and the Sabbath cover were nice olive branches to us metal kids. Honestly, I'm not sure I would have given this album the same chance if those tracks weren't present. But really, it was all about those misty, nightmarish epics like the title track and "The Morning After." I also love the light funk popper "Underwater Love." It feels so welcome and squishy in between some of the darker moments (even though I'm pretty sure it's about murder).
I don't pull out the album much nowadays but whenever I do, I'm flooded with an overwhelmingly fuzzy feeling of nostalgia. I'm back in my old wood-paneled bedroom, feet up on the big box speakers blasting "Zombie Eaters." However, if I remove myself from the nostalgia (although I don't do that very often cos the nostalgia is so warm and fuzzy) it's possibly my least favorite FNM album, with all the nasally vocals and the funk-rap and hair metal touches. But that's only when I remove the rose-tinted glasses. And I don't do that often. In fact, I'm thinking of getting Lasik surgery that will permanently rose-tint my eyes.
Let's listen to some Faith No More. Here's "The Real Thing." Enjoy!
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