Dwarves: Thank Heavens for Little Girls/Sugarfix

"Thank Heavens for Little Girls" and "Sugarfix" are the two albums after "Blood, Guts, and Pussy," but before "The Dwarves Are Young and Good Looking." I have these two albums on one twofer CD, so I'm covering them both in one post (sorry about all the math, I know it's hangover day)...



Dwarves: Thank Heaven for Little Girls

1991

Sub Pop Records

Format I Own it on: Kompact Dusk

Track Listing: 1. Satan  2. Johnny Glue  3. Speed Demon  4. Blood Brothers Revenge  5. Blag the Ripper  6. Lucky Tonight  7. Who’s Fucking Who  8. Fuck ‘em All  9. Anybody But Me  10. Three Seconds  11. Fuck Around  12. Dairy Queen  13. The Scum Also Rises  14. Jonney Glue


I find this title and cover fucking hilarious for some reason. I imagine if you're unfamiliar with the band it would appear innocuous or even nice but if you're aware of the band's repugnant reputation you can't help but let a malignant grin slide across your face...

 This album is where I consider the baseline Dwarves sound to emerge. The hardcore blasts of "Blood, Guts & Pussy" are mostly gone, replaced by a poppier punk sound with slight tinges of metal. Actually this album has an almost galloping cowpunk sound at times. The subject matter is still pretty much the same though...Lots of mayhem, drug, and fucking....Satan himself pops up from time to time to survey his kingdom.

A couple of my favorite Dwarves tracks appear here: "Blood Brothers" which has a fun sing-songy melody (and bizarre fucked up lyrics, but I guess that goes without saying) where that cowpunk feel I mentioned earlier is displayed more prominently with a slippery slide guitar and a rhythm section that sounds like the hooves of Satan's steed...

 The other big one here is "Fuck Around," an amazing doo-wop ditty where we first get a good look at the more bubble-gummy, Ramones-y side of the band that would later become more prominent.

A couple other observations: Was I the only one who was surprised when "Three Seconds" went beyond the 3 second mark? I also fully expected "Dairy Queen" to be about some lactating girl with big jugs. After hearing the audio trailer on here for "The Scum Also Rises," I looked it up and realized it doesn't exist, except for a trailer on youtube....

 Damn, I wish this really existed.

Alright, let's listen to some music...Here's "Fuck Around" by The Dwarves...Enjoy...

Dwarves: Sugarfix

1993

Sub Pop Records

Format I Own it on: Der Disk Kompact

Track Listing: 1. Anybody Out There  2. Evil Primeval  3. Reputation  4. Lies  5. Saturday Night  6. New Orleans  7. Action Man  8. Smack City  9. Cain Novacaine   10. Underworld  11. Wish That I Was Dead 12. Gash Wagon


Okay, this is why I love the Dwarves. Shortly before they released this album the band announced guitarist, HeWhoCannotBeName, had been stabbed to death, going so far as to include a memorial inside this album.

It turns out they faked his death and Sub Pop was so pissed they kicked them off the label. Brilliant.

"Sugarfix" has become one of my favorite Dwarves albums. For starters it kicks off with "Anybody Out There," which is such a perfect introductory rocker that last time I was at one of their shows the fucking place exploded when they opened their set with it.  (Oh yea, side story...At that show I was outside the Queers' touring van helping Joe Queer fix his guitar when suddenly I found myself face to face with Blag and Nick Oliveri as they approached Joe to discuss some business. I kept my eyes averted and didn't say a word cos I didn't want to end up in a fistfight or something. I was later assured that Blag is a sweetheart.) If the world had any taste whatsoever, "Anybody Out There" should have been a hit, tossing Meatloaf's fat ass off the top of the charts...

"Saturday Night" is another great pop song to throw on the pile...A nice Ramones-y serial killer story that has you singing along on the first listen. "Smack City" tackles the Seattle scene, which had come into the band's orbit via their signing to Sub Pop. Anyway, the writing was on the wall as the band takes the piss out of some of the label's most sacred cash cows...

The whole album is fast and furious (although arguably a bit less fast and furious than their previous works) and a lot of fun. The Dwarves increase the pop ratio and prove the band's greazy worldview carries over even as they seem to be going for a less overtly offensive lyrical tone.  At this point it feels like they were so marinated in scum that they were no longer required to consistently point out its presence...

Time to cut the shit...Here's "Anybody Out There" by The Dwarves...Enjoy...

Dwarves: The Dwarves Are Younger and Even Better Looking

Oh yea...Another NSFW cover...It being Dwarves week and all, I should probably just advise everyone to avoid this blog until it's all over...Every single aspect of the Dwarves existence is NSFW...Plus I'm running out of SFW pictures...

Here's one...

...and I don't think this one would raise too many eyebrows...

Here...This seems like a pretty reasonable picture to look at while working...

But below you'll see a little red photo with a topless woman skateboarding...This is not alright to look at while you work since it might make you and everyone around you suddenly bust out your shlongs and start jerking them uncontrollably...So get ready to scroll real fast in 1...



2.....



3...!!!!

 Dwarves: The Dwarves Are Younger and Even Better Looking


Disc One: 1.Unrepentant  2. We Must Have Blood 3. I Will Deny  4. Demonica  5. Everybody's Girl
6. Throw That World Away  7. Hits  8.The Ballad Of Vadge Moore  9. One Time Only  
10. Pimp  11. The Crucifixion Is Now  12. You Gotta Burn  13. The Dwarves Are Young and Good Looking


Disc Two:  1. Let's Take A Ride (Bonus studio track)  2. The Wicked (Bonus studio track)  3. Haunt Me (Bonus studio track)  4. Theme From The Vicelords (Bonus studio track)  5. Star 69- A Million Miles (Bonus studio track)  6. Ask Me Why (Bonus studio track)  7. Come Gunnin (Bonus studio track)  8. Lord of the Road (Bonus studio track)  9. One Time Only (Alt Version)(Bonus studio track)
10. Throw That Girl Away(Bonus studio track)  11. Unrepentant (live radio broadcast bonus track)
12. We Must Have Blood (live radio broadcast bonus track)  13. Everybody's Girl (live radio broadcast bonus track)  14. Demonica (live radio broadcast bonus track)  15. Smack City (live radio broadcast bonus track)  16. You Gotta Burn (live radio broadcast bonus track)   17. Back Seat of My Car (live radio broadcast bonus track)  18. Dairy Queen (live radio broadcast bonus track)  19. Drug Store (live radio broadcast bonus track)  20. Fuck 'em All (live radio broadcast bonus track)
21. I Will Deny (live radio broadcast bonus track)  22. Surfing the Intercourse Barn (Spoken word track)


This thing is pretty fucking swank...A gate-fold, two-disc reissue of the Dwarves' 1997 album "The Dwarves Are Young and Good Looking." Mine is on translucent green vinyl that I picked up last year at the very packed Dwarves/Queers/Masked Intruder show...

I love this damn album...I can remember hearing "Everybody's Girl" back in the 90's on some Epitaph sampler and was very surprised to find out it was the Dwarves...It's perfectly presentable, lovable Ramones-ish pop-punk which might not even raise a single gray hair at Grandma's  85th birthday party (as long as no one pays too close attention to the lyrics)...But the whole album is similarly fleshed out and devoted to pop-hookiness without wholly abandoning their trademark leer...No 30 second hardcore blasts about wanting to get AIDS here...Just surfy pop hooks with the occasional metal chug thrown in for good  measure... It wouldn't be too big a stretch to imagine some of this playing on the radio back in the 90's...

This leads to a very large handful of the band's best songs..."There Must Be Blood" is an instant classic... A thoroughly amazing punk/metal anthem that kicks an absurd amount of ass with a chorus so potent that once you hear it, it permanently warps your brain..."Everybody's Girl" still holds up as one of the highlights of the 90's pop-punk movement...To me, this album represents the ultimate refinement of what they hinted at on the earlier "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" and "Sugarfix" albums...Where the band 100% gets over the whole "ha ha, we're saying 'fuck' over happy music" thing that you heard on "Fuck Around"...An album full of "Saturday Night"'s...And it's often glorious...

The only tracks I'm not too nuts about are the spaghetti-western chomo epic "Demonica," the incredibly slight "Hits,"  and the blasphemous blues of "You Gotta Burn"...And they're not bad songs at all...It's just that the rest of it is so damn strong...

The bonus disc is over twice the length of the original album and one of the best (and most thoroughly listenable) bonus-discs I've ever encountered in a reissue...It's packed with solo Blag material, Dwarves B-Sides, and Outtakes from the "Young and Good Looking" era that are just as good as the main album..."Let's Take a Ride"? "Wicked"? This is essential stuff for Dwarves fans...

Then there's also a very cool 11-song live radio show from 1997...The band plays "Young and Good Looking" almost in its entirety while throwing in roughly one song each from their previous albums...It's all a bit fried from overload but overall the sound quality is much better than you'd expect from a Dwarves live performance...The album ends with a 5 minute spoken word piece by Blag played over some surf-rock...Probably not for everybody but pretty entertaining... Considering their go-to subject matter (sex and violence) there's this impulse to view Blag as some sort of knuckle-dragging caveman but every once in awhile they'll do something like this that puts their art into sharp relief...Sometimes when I hear the Dwarves, I kinda get this surreal, Burroughs-esque cosmic/comic bacchanalia vibe that (when paired with sharp hooks)  probably explains why I was drawn to the band in the first place...I think they're more interesting than they initially appear to be...

I'm tired of hearing the tickety-tack of my keyboard...Let's listen to some Dwarves...Here's "One Time Only"...Enjoy...

Dwarves: Blood, Guts & Pussy

Uh-oh...NSFW cover alert coming up...You know the drill...If your kids are in the room or if your titty-hatin' boss is hanging over your shoulder you might want to scroll real fast until you see the naked chicks and midget scroll by...Until then, here's a few pictures of SFW things..

"Nope, Boss...Just googlin' how many days until our Lord and Savior returns to Earth and wipes out that titty-filled internet once and for all..."

 "Hey, kids...Let's turn off that 'Amazing World of Gumball' and watch one of the children's shows that I used to watch as a kid...Hey! Why are you kids leaving the room so fast? Oh well...Guess I'll have to look at titties and midgets on the internet...Ain't that right, Hon?"

"Nah, Hon...I was just kiddin'! Look, I'm just looking at screengrabs of my favorite Julia Roberts film! Hey! That gives me a great idea! Why don't you run to the store and pick up some popcorn and we'll have a Julia Roberts movie marathon!"

Okay, now that everyone's gone...Get ready to scroll real fast cos there's going to be two NSFW covers in a row coming up...Unless you're home alone reading this...Then yank your wire all you like...I'm not watching...

Alright, here we go, in 1...


2...



3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 

Dwarves: Blood, Guts & Pussy

1990

Sub Pop Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Back Seat Of My Car  2.  Detention Girl  3. Let's Fuck  4. Drug Store  5. Skin Poppin' Slut  6. Fuck You Up And Get High  7. Insect Whore  8. Flesh Tantrum  9. SFVD  10.
What Hit You  11. Gash Wagon



Hey! I'm full of blood! Hey! I have a gut! Hey! I'm a pussy! This record must be a concept album about me mE ME!!!!

I like the little dwarf guy they always have on their covers...He never seems to age...He always looks exactly the same....This album came out in 1990 and he still often pops on their covers looking not a day older....

Or maybe it's a different dwarf...Maybe all dwarfs look the same to me...Does that make me dwarfist? Anyway, that guy's awesome...Long live the dwarf...

Oh yea, one thing I should mention before I tackle this "Blood, Guts & Pussy" album, the track listing for the CD and vinyl versions are different...They're pretty much the same, except the CD ends with  "Astro Boy" and "Motherfucker"...The vinyl version lacks those two tracks, but adds "Gash Wagon"...I wish they would have made room for "Motherfucker" but"Gash Wagon" is pretty great too...Still hard to top that "Surfin' Bird" section on "Motherfucker"...

If I had to describe the music (which I guess I have to, since I bothered to put up a blog post about it), I'd say it's essentially full-tilt hardcore coated with a layer of very scuzzy rock n' roll...The guitars are about an inch away from your face and the vocals are kinda in the Stiv Bators/Iggy Pop or a really horny and feral Joey Ramone (Although, I sorta think Blag is distinctive enough to be his own category at this point...There's a sort of sandblasted leering that's pin pointedly Blag when you hear other artists attempt it)...As far as lyrical content and generally grimy ambiance goes, you'd probably have to turn to GG Allin for anything more truly antisocial, but performance-wise it's very polished and well-played...The songs are all clear, catchy, and concise (very concise, considering the album's 14 minute running time)...

And the album just fucking rules the universe..How can it not? The premise is sound, it's always delivered at full speed  and if there is a bad song (and there isn't) it wouldn't stick around long enough for you to notice. Plus here's a very representative sampling of the lyrics being spit out on the mic:

"I am the best fucking fuck in the whole fuckin world,
Dog eat dog, boy eat girl,
I'm the duke of fuckin earl..."

or this lyrical chestnut:

"Give me AIDS, fuck me,
I just wanna get laid,
Give me AIDS, yeah yeah

There's bite marks on my dick,
I've got AIDS and aches and pains,
Shooting up drugs is the life for me,
I've got my HIV..."

So yea, probably not the album to put on for Grandma's 85th birthday party but man, for a quick fix of adrenaline it can't be beat...This is shit will liven up your own Friday night record party for sure...And the album's influence on band's like the Nobody's is incalculable...Great fun...Maybe just be aware you're probably going to paying full-length price for an EP running length but ultimately how can you put a price on the potent entertainment housed in the grooves of a fucking Dwarves LP? And tell me the cover alone isn't worth the measly bucks...

Here's "SFVD" by the Dwarves...Enjoy...