Friday Night Record Party : Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Bluejeans & Moonbeams

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band: Bluejeans & Moonbeams

1974

Virgin Records

Format I Own it on: Vinyl

Track Listing: 1. Party of Special Things to Do 2.Same Old Blues 3. Observatory Crest 4. Pompadour Swamp 5. Captain's Holiday 6. Rock 'n Roll's Evil Doll 7. Further Than We've Gone 8. Twist ah Luck 9. Bluejeans & Moonbeams

Oh, man, what happened? Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band were on such a roll, culminating in a career highlight in the highly-accessible "Clear Spot,." But when that album flopped commercially, Beefheart decided to take the sell-out even further. In a failed attempt to convince us that he was the Captain in "Captain & Tennille" with the fairly awful "Unconditionally Guaranteed" (which I don't' own, but I listened to it online and can confirm it is pretty damn uninspiring). "Bluejeans and Moonbeams" is the second album in that unfortunate "Tragic Band" series....

I knew of "Bluejeans..." bad reputation but I found a pristine UK Virgin Records pressing and something about that stunning album cover just made me buy it...I couldn't resist its pull...Now, at this point I hadn't heard the album, so I didn't 100% know what to expect...I knew it was considered a low-point, but I can't tell you how many times I've listened to a band's alleged "worst album" and ended up loving it...So I try not to judge an album until I get the chance to wrap my judging ears around it...

And when I first started up the album, things sure sounded promising! The first thing you hear is the Captain dryly intone, "The camel wore a nightie..." Well, alright! I can get behind that! Unfortunately that one acapella line is probably the highpoint of the album. I mean, "Party of Special Things to Do" (the song the line is attached to) isn't bad...It's a perfectly serviceable white-blues track, but it seems awfully bland...And it turns out it's one of the best songs on the album!

'Same Old Blues" is where it struck me what a slump the band was in...A J.J. Cale cover? Isn't that Eric Clapton's job? Remember those reams of brilliant lyrics and gritty, skewed rhythms that made Captain Beefheart great? Bleh, none of that here...Y'know, I might still take this over a Clapton album from the same era. If only because Beefheart was still a much better singer (even in his zombified form) but that's probably not saying much, since I'd probably prefer a day at the DMV to a mid-70's Clapton album...

I go back and forth on the merits of "Observatory Crest." The stiff melody and sentiment is definitely entertaining, but I'm also simultaneously annoyed by it...This might be the only place on the album where the novelty of Captain Beefheart going yacht-rock lives up to its "entertaining train-wreck" promise...I guess this album is notable for containing the single worst song in the band's discography with "Captain's Holiday." I honestly think 6 minutes of silence would have been the more entertaining option...It's just some soulful back-up singers cooing, "Oooo, Captain, Captain!" over the most unforgettable instrumental possible...Why, oh why?

The only song on here that I truly love is "Twist ah Luck" which shows that the path to AM radio didn't need to be such a hard road...An up-tempo funk boogie that momentarily turns my opinion of the album around for the few minutes that it's on...But then the title track comes on next with the cheesiest synthesizer fanfare possible and suddenly I remember to puke again...Every so often I'll run across some reviewer online trying to redeem this album, but it's a total lost cause...There are many albums much more worthy of redemption than this...Still, it kills me to say anything bad about Captain Beefheart. He gave us some of the best music ever made...Let's just bury this one and we'll pretend it never happened, eh?

I do find it odd that out of all the notoriously "difficult" albums Captain Beefheart has made, this easy-listening bid for mainstream acceptance is the hardest for me to listen to...If "Trout Mask Replica" can be brain-bending in places at least it engages the brain...This just has a way of drifting through one ear and out the other without touching any gray matter...Ultimately, I think this album would have made an excellent 12" single..."Twist ah Luck" backed with "Party of Special Things to Do" (ah, what the hell, throw in a flexi with "Observatory Crest" on it). I say 12" single cos I love the album cover so damn much and would hate to see it shrunk down...

It's Friday, right? No? Only Thursday night? Ah, close enough...Let's crack open a beer...Howzabout one of those delicious-ass Shock Top Pretzel Beers?

What?! The don't make them anymore? Major boner-killer...Ah, well...At least they don't have the Honey Bourbon ones that taste like Honey Halls Mentho-Lyptus...